Niles: Of course, I can't take care of him.
Frasier: Oh, yes, of course. Of course. Why?
Niles: Because Dad doesn't get along with Maris.
Frasier: Who does?
Niles: I thought you liked my Maris.
Frasier: I do. I like her from a distance. You know, the way you like the sun. Maris is like the sun, except without the warmth.

Niles: Let's get some lights on. [claps]
Frasier: Good Lord, what the hell is that?
Niles: Maris had it made after she lost power in a storm. Battery operated, works on a clapper so you can find it in the dark. Only problem was, the poor thing, try as she might, could never clap hard enough to activate it.

TV Announcer: And now another American for Holden Thorpe.
Martin: [on TV] Hi, I'm Marty Crane.
Frasier: Oh, dear God.
Martin: [on TV] For thirty years I was a cop walking a beat in Seattle. Then my hip was shattered by an assassin's bullet - an assassin who wouldn't have been on the streets if it weren't for those bleeding hearts we sent to Congress. I used to carry a gun. Now I carry a cane. I'm voting to elect Holden Thorpe. He's running because I can't.

Niles: "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."
Frasier: Edmund Burke.
Niles: I have that quotation in a frame. I keep meaning to put it up in my office but I never seem to get around to it.

Roz: Piece of work, isn't he? He makes it sound like it's either vote for him or be found murdered in your bed.
Frasier: Oh, I wouldn't be concerned if I were you, Roz. What are the chances of finding you there alone?