Niles Quote #1170
Quote from Niles in The Seal Who Came to Dinner
Niles: Let's get some lights on. [claps]
Frasier: Good Lord, what the hell is that?
Niles: Maris had it made after she lost power in a storm. Battery operated, works on a clapper so you can find it in the dark. Only problem was, the poor thing, try as she might, could never clap hard enough to activate it.
Features in the collection: The Maris Crane Files.
Frasier Quotes
‘The Maris Crane Files’
Quote from Frasier in The Good Son
Niles: Of course, I can't take care of him.
Frasier: Oh, yes, of course. Of course. Why?
Niles: Because Dad doesn't get along with Maris.
Frasier: Who does?
Niles: I thought you liked my Maris.
Frasier: I do. I like her from a distance. You know, the way you like the sun. Maris is like the sun, except without the warmth.
Quote from Niles in Adventures in Paradise (Part 2)
Daphne: You know, when I was younger I dreamed of being a ballerina myself.
Niles: So did Maris. But the poor thing could never get her weight up enough.
‘The Seal Who Came to Dinner’ Quotes
Quote from Niles
Frasier: Oh, hello, Niles.
Niles: If my life gets any worse, I'm phoning Hell to ask about their exchange program.
Quote from Daphne
Daphne: You dirty old man. Flirting with a girl her age.
Martin: Well, she was flirting right back. I saw her giving me the once-over.
Daphne: Yeah, she looked once and it was over.
Quote from Niles
Niles: Dear God, what's that?
Frasier: It's a small crack, a little bird flew into it the other day. I'm replacing the pane next week.
Niles: Next week?
Frasier: Yes.
Niles: Well, that's too late.
Frasier: It's just a piece of tape. No one will even notice.
Niles: You have no idea how cutthroat my rivals are. They will leap on the tiniest imperfection. Last night, Sebastian Melmoth threw a lavish Japanese banquet. A certain rival spent the entire evening carping about how the obis on the geishas' kimonos were improperly tied.
Frasier: "A certain rival?"
Niles: All right, me.