Niles Quote #273
Quote from Niles in Seat of Power
Niles: [on the phone] Maris, I'm afraid I'll be delayed a few hours. Frasier and I have taken it upon ourselves to tackle a home repair. Yes, I'm working with my hands. Yes, I've worked up a bit of a sweat. I suppose I could take my shirt off.
Frasier: Niles, what are you doing?
Niles: She seems to be getting aroused at my attempt at manual labor. [on phone] Maris, I'm holding some sort of wrench.
Frasier: [taking the phone] Give me that! [on phone] Hello, Maris? Maris, Niles is busy now. No, never mind what I'm wearing.
Features in the collection: The Maris Crane Files.
Frasier Quotes
‘The Maris Crane Files’
Quote from Frasier in The Good Son
Niles: Of course, I can't take care of him.
Frasier: Oh, yes, of course. Of course. Why?
Niles: Because Dad doesn't get along with Maris.
Frasier: Who does?
Niles: I thought you liked my Maris.
Frasier: I do. I like her from a distance. You know, the way you like the sun. Maris is like the sun, except without the warmth.
Quote from Niles in The Seal Who Came to Dinner
Niles: Let's get some lights on. [claps]
Frasier: Good Lord, what the hell is that?
Niles: Maris had it made after she lost power in a storm. Battery operated, works on a clapper so you can find it in the dark. Only problem was, the poor thing, try as she might, could never clap hard enough to activate it.
‘Seat of Power’ Quotes
Quote from Niles
Niles: When you think about it, our only mistake today was trying to fix that toilet ourselves.
Frasier: Yes, we tampered with the natural order of things.
Niles: But now, order has been restored. By hiring a plumber, that plumber can now afford, say, a Dolly Parton album. Miss Parton can then finance a national tour which will, of course, come to Seattle, allowing some local promoter to make enough money to send his cross-dressing teenage son to us for $150-an-hour therapy.
Frasier: To the circle of life.
Quote from Niles
Danny: No, I'm sorry. I just don't remember you.
Niles: Well, perhaps you'll remember third period gym class. You used to make me wear my jockstrap like a tiara?
Danny: Oh, yeah! Were you the kid who used to carry his gym shorts in an attaché case?
Niles: It was a valise.
Danny: I remember you. Boy, those were some crazy times. You ever see any of the old gang?
Niles: Look, you're missing the point. I was severely scarred by those experiences.
Danny: Hey, wait a minute. I can't defend everything I did back in junior high, I mean who can? But let's face it, when you show up at school wearing a tweed blazer with elbow patches and carrying a valise, I mean, I think the guilt here is fifty-fifty.
Quote from Frasier
Daphne: Eddie?! Let's go for another walk.
Martin: I thought you already walked him this morning?
Daphne: I did, twice.
Martin: He's gotta go again?
Daphne: No, actually I do. That didn't sound right. There's a very nice-looking gentleman who plays frisbee in the park with his Labrador. Eddie and I are hoping to run into them again. Come on, Eddie. He's just playing hard to get.
Frasier: I'm glad somebody is.