Niles Quote #254
Quote from Niles in The Botched Language of Cranes
Martin: Hey, where did Maris go?
Father Mike: Well, I believe Mrs. Crane is over there.
Niles: Where? Oh, bless her busy little heart, she's cornered Lydia Beaumont, head of the museum board. Maris has been angling to get on that board for years.
Martin: It looks like Lydia's getting away.
Niles: Oh, yes, the old freshen-the-drink ploy. Poor Lydia has no idea with whom she's dealing. That's right, Maris, chug that sherry. On with the chase! Yes, there she goes, she's gaining, she's gaining, she's coming round the ice sculpture. It's Mrs. Beaumont and Maris, Mrs. Beaumont and Maris, and... Yes! They meet again!
[The table starts applauding]
Niles: I fully expect they'll be board mates before they clear away the desserts.
Features in the collection: The Maris Crane Files.
Frasier Quotes
‘The Maris Crane Files’
Quote from Frasier in The Good Son
Niles: Of course, I can't take care of him.
Frasier: Oh, yes, of course. Of course. Why?
Niles: Because Dad doesn't get along with Maris.
Frasier: Who does?
Niles: I thought you liked my Maris.
Frasier: I do. I like her from a distance. You know, the way you like the sun. Maris is like the sun, except without the warmth.
Quote from Niles in The Seal Who Came to Dinner
Niles: Let's get some lights on. [claps]
Frasier: Good Lord, what the hell is that?
Niles: Maris had it made after she lost power in a storm. Battery operated, works on a clapper so you can find it in the dark. Only problem was, the poor thing, try as she might, could never clap hard enough to activate it.
‘The Botched Language of Cranes’ Quotes
Quote from Martin
Roz: Frasier, after you left, the station manager stopped by. He's taking a lot of heat from the sponsors and he says if you cannot smooth this over, he may have to suspend you.
Frasier: Suspend me? Well, what's he going to put in my timeslot?
Roz: He'd have to run "The Best Of Crane."
Martin: What will he do on the second day?
Quote from Niles
[There's a violent knock at the door]
Frasier: Is anyone expecting visitors? Well, I suggest we all remain very, very quiet.
[Eddie starts barking]
Niles: I suddenly have this image of angry villagers wielding torches and pitchforks.
Roz: Frasier, open up, it's Roz!
Niles: Oh, dear, it's worse than I thought!
Quote from Frasier
Frasier: Another radiant morning! Morning, dad. Do I drive to work today or just hail a passing gondola?!