Frasier Quote #3334
Quote from Frasier in Frasier Lite
Frasier: Well, Morrie, if you're not cheating on your wife, and she still suspects you, then we're obviously dealing with a trust issue.
Morrie: "More like a crazy issue. And I know where she gets it, from her mother, who, by the way, came for Thanksgiving and still hasn't left. Happy New Year!"
Frasier: Perhaps we should tackle these issues one at a time.
Morrie: "[knock on door] I'm in the bathroom, Celeste. A little privacy? See how she gets?"
Frasier: Well, perhaps what is needed here is-
Celeste: "[phone click] You think I don't know who you're talking to in there, huh, Morrie? It's your little whore, isn't it? Hello, whore."
Frasier: Celeste, if I could interrupt for just a moment-
Celeste: "A man? It's worse than I thought."
Mother: "[phone click] Celeste?"
Celeste: "Hang up, Ma!"
Mother: "You're all on the radio. I'm listening down in the kitchen."
Morrie: "How about washing a dish or two while you're down there?"
Britney: "I cannot stand this yelling! I'm running away from home."
Morrie: "Oh, hang up the phone, Britney, you're going nowhere."
Frasier: And neither is this conversation.
Features in the collection: I'm Listening.
Frasier Quotes
‘I'm Listening’
Quote from Frasier in Selling Out
Roger: "Well, I had a really good year, so I decided, hey, why not reward myself? So I bought what I really wanted, a 48ft cabin cruiser. Want to know how much it cost me? I'll tell you how much it cost me, 300 grand. Not to mention the $20,000 for the custom teak decking. Now, here's my problem: My wife wants to call this incredible vessel 'Lullubelle', after her mother. 'Lullubelle!' So, I say no, we call it 'The Intrepid'. So, what do you think it should be called, 'Lullubelle' or 'The Intrepid'?"
Frasier: Roger. At Cornell University, they have an incredible piece of scientific equipment known as the "tunneling electron microscope." Now, this microscope is so powerful that by firing electrons, you can actually see images of the atom, the infinitesimally minute building block of our universe. Roger, if I were using that microscope right now, I still wouldn't be able to locate my interest in your problem. Thank you for your call.
Quote from Frasier in Here's Looking at You
Frasier: Hello, Doug, this is Dr Frasier Crane. I'm listening.
Doug: "Yeah, it's about my mother. She's getting on now and she doesn't have much of a life. I mean, she doesn't want to do anything or go anywhere. I mean, she literally hangs around the house all day. I mean, it is very frustrating."
Frasier: Doug, I'm sorry. Can we just go back for a second? You said your mother "literally" hangs around the house. I suppose it's a pet peeve of mine, but what you mean to say is she figuratively hangs around the house. To literally hang around the house you'd have to be a bat or a spider monkey. Now back to your problem.
Doug: "Do you mind if we stop while I tell you my pet peeve?"
Frasier: Oh, not at all.
Doug: "I hate it when intellectual pinheads with superiority complexes who nitpick your grammar when you come to them for help. That's what I've got a problem with."
Frasier: I think what he means is, "That is a thing with which he has a problem."
‘Frasier Lite’ Quotes
Quote from Frasier
Frasier: Stop it! Stop it! Stop this madness! Look at yourselves!
Quote from Martin
Niles: What is Eddie doing?
[As Martin talks, Niles uses his handkerchief to wipe away a smudge on the balcony doors]
Martin: Oh, he's waiting for a pigeon friend of his. We call him Barney. Flies on the balcony every day and they stare at each other. Those crazy animals. Yesterday, they did it for three hours. No, I'm not making it up, I watched them the whole time.
Quote from Niles
Martin: What happened to your wrist?
Niles: Oh, uh, she rolled over in her sleep and pinned me again. I even saw it coming this time, like the big rock in that Indiana Jones movie.