Niles: Oh, Daphne, I love you!
Daphne: I love you too!
[As they hug and kiss, Niles' pants begin to beep. He begins jerking around from the electric shocks]
Niles: Ow, ooh, ah. Something seems to be short-circuiting!
[As Niles runs off to the bedroom]
Daphne: That's your daddy!

Frasier: You know, Roz, we've got so much to talk about, what do you say we pick this up again tomorrow over a cup of coffee?
Roz: Okay. My God, you have quite the ego on you. We slept together like two years ago. I mean what do you think you are, some kind of slow acting, time-release love bomb?

Niles: And well, no hot baths, no alcohol, raw seafood, uh... and I started a regimen of dietary supplements. Which reminds me... [pulls out a small vial]
Martin: What's that?
Niles: French maritime pine bark extract. It boosts fertility and also acts as a mild euphoric. Which accounts for the well-known joviality of French sailors.

Kenny: There she is. Now, I gotta warn you, Doc, she's uh, in a eelchair-way.
Frasier: Does her handicap preclude her from understanding Pig Latin?

Martin: Since when do you need a chemistry set to have a baby?
Daphne: I hear an "In my day..." coming.
Martin: In my day it was simple. The girl would put on something slinky, guy comes home, has a couple of pops, throws some Dean Martin on the Hi-Fi and bim-bam-boom, you're lighting a Lucky.

Daphne: We're very excited.
Niles: Yes, we were up half the night imagining life with our first child.
Frasier: Yes, well, first child you know about.
Daphne: What does that mean?
Frasier: Hmm? Oh, it's not what you think, Daphne. I was just referring to the time when Niles sold his sperm to a sperm bank. Surely you told her about it. [Niles gives Frasier a flustered look] Off I go.

Daphne: You sold your sperm?
Niles: Well, it was when I was home from medical school. I saw an ad for sperm donors, so I sold my sperm to a sperm bank.
Martin: Would you stop using that word? Say "s."

Roz: Hey, Kenny. Sorry I'm late.
Kenny: Hey, Roz. Whoa, whoa! What are you doing here?
Roz: I work here.
Kenny: You quit.
Roz: Oh, come on, Kenny. If I quit, would I be here? Who's that?
Kenny: I'm sorry, I hired her because I thought... Didn't you quit?
Roz: Kenny, what's wrong with you? Never mind. I'll fix it, like always.
Kenny: Oh, thanks, Roz. I owe you one.

Niles: So you're saying it might be difficult for my wife and me to conceive?
Karen: Very difficult, yes. I'm sorry.
Niles: Uh, thank you. [walks across the room and opens a door] Excuse me, sir! Terribly sorry. Carry on.
[Karen points Niles to the correct door. He cautiously opens it, takes a look, then walks through.]

Niles: Daphne's going out with her mom tonight, so I thought I'd borrow a DVD.
Martin: Oh, well, you're in luck. I just picked this one up: "Crime Scene Bloopers 4: You Have the Right to Remain Zany."