Frasier: No, Niles, could you stay for just a moment? There's something going on in my life that requires a bit of mulling. Sherry?
Niles: No, thanks.
Frasier: No? But we never mull without sherry.
Niles: Not for me.
Frasier: Very well. Have a seat.
Niles: Uh, I'd rather stand.

Frasier: Anyway, it's about Roz. After quitting her job, twice, she shows up back at work again, today, waist-deep in a sea of denial. Well, I confronted her on the issue... [noticing Niles gyrating at the hips] What the hell are you doing?
Niles: Sorry, go on.
Frasier: Anyway, I confronted her on the issue, and she refused to discuss it with me. She wouldn't even look me in the eye. Which leads me to just one conclusion, Niles. She's in love with me.
Niles: I wouldn't necessarily jump to that conclusion.
Frasier: That's because you don't have all the facts. I've never shared this with you before, Niles, so brace yourself. Two years ago, Roz and I slept together.
Niles: Get out! You and Roz?!

Frasier: We did have a chance to discuss it, thoroughly. Talk things out. And at the time, she seemed happy to remain friends. But I realize, now, that I must have kindled a spark in her. That lit the torch she carries to this day. So what do you think...? Are your pants humming?
Niles: It's- It's my testicular hypothermia device. It promotes motility by keeping my nether regions at a cool and constant ninety-six degrees.
[doorbell rings]
Frasier: Oh, dear.
Niles: No, no. That wasn't me.
Frasier: Yes, I know. I know that.

Niles: Well, looks like someone's getting lucky tonight.
Frasier: She was, but I'm beginning to have second thoughts.

Julia: I've had such a stressful day. You know what would feel great? A back rub. You know where I could find a pair of strong, manly hands?
Frasier: You know, I think Zoltan from the club makes house calls. Let me get you his number.

Frasier: Hold that thought, I've got to get in the kitchen and move something back to the front burner.

Roz: Frasier, I'm so sorry about that.
Frasier: No, it's my fault. I never should have let you in.

Frasier: Say, Julia has a dangerously hot meal cooking in the kitchen. Why don't you stay?
Roz: Oh, that sounds great. But wait. She went to all this trouble to make this dinner for you, if she finds out I'm the one who ate it it'll kill her.
Frasier: You can't tell her, Roz.
Roz: Oh, come on, please?

Niles: I should have told you this earlier, I had some disappointing news today. It seems that I suffer from low motility and it might not be possible for us to conceive.
Daphne: Oh.
Niles: I'm so sorry.
Daphne: Oh, don't be sorry. We'll be all right. There's so many things they can do these days to help infertile couples.
Niles: True.
Daphne: And until we find out more, I don't see why we don't give Mother Nature a shot.