Frasier: Well, that's our show for today, but let me remind you to tune in on Saturday night for KACL's presentation of"Nightmare Inn." Just set your dials for goosebumps. Till then, this is Dr. Frasier Crane reminding you that [in a scary voice:] you never know what's lurking in the shadows.
Roz: Well, that should certainly comfort the woman who called in about her paranoia.

Bulldog: Hey, Doc, need one more for your play?
Frasier: Absolutely, Bulldog, just as long as you promise to promote it on your show.
Bulldog: Actually, I wasn't talking about me, I was talking about a friend of mine, Maxine.
Frasier: Well, does she have any experience?
Bulldog: Are you kidding? If she had a dollar for every minute she spent on stage... Oh, wait a minute, she does.

Roz: [with her mouth full] Inspector, thank goodness you came.
Frasier: Stop the watch. Roz, I have a line here that says, "when she opened her lips I caught a hint of some mixed exotic accent." You will notice it does not say, "when she opened her lips cheese fell out".

Frasier: And that reminds me, Mel, I'm still not entirely happy with the second McAllister sister.
Mel: Oh?
Frasier: Yes, she doesn't sound spinsterish enough for me.
Mel: I see. You also told me that my gamekeeper sounded too cultured, that my Irishman sounded more Protestant than Catholic, and that my dwarf was too tall. Let me try Hans again and tell me how my German is sounding: "I quit!"
Frasier: Oh, wait!
Daphne: Sound of door slamming.

Bulldog: So what do we do now, boss?
Frasier: Not to worry, I have a plan.
Roz: Oh, yeah right. We're supposed to do this thing tomorrow night. Where are you going to find an idiot willing to take six dialect parts unrehearsed?
Frasier: [on the phone] Niles!
Daphne: Sound of ominous organ music indicating trouble ahead.

Frasier: Noel is going to give us a demonstration of the sound effects. What have you got, Noel?
Noel: Okay. This is my door sound. My thunder screen. Balloons for gun shots. And this plays various kinds of organ music. I've also got a gravel box, bells, a rain stick and a coffee thermos.
Niles: What does that do?
Noel: It keeps my coffee warm.

Frasier: Bulldog, work on her part? It's just one line.
Bulldog: Yeah, yeah, but she's got that condition. What do you call it, it begins with a dis... dis- dis... er?
Niles: Distemper?

Bulldog: It's me I'm worried about. I've got some serious butterflies going here.
Frasier: Bulldog, you're on the radio all the time.
Bulldog: Yeah, but that's me being me. This is acting, it's scary.
Frasier: Listen, that's all part of the thrill of the live performance. Butterflies in the stomach, sweaty palms, scratchy throat, pounding heart. I suppose you have all of those?
Bulldog: I do now.

Frasier: Don't worry, Niles, I'll just cue you as we go along.
Niles: Well, shouldn't I at least prepare a little?
Frasier: Now, listen, your natural spontaneity is your best asset as an actor. What was it the Yale "Daily News" said about your Tartuffe?
Niles: Oh, who remembers? That I have the magnetism of Marlon Brando, the charm of Danny Kaye and the range of Laurence Olivier.

Daphne: I already know the plot, but I'll try not to blurt out the name of the murderer.
Martin: Great. As a cop, I hated it when people did that.