Martin: Well, wish I could, but I promised Frasier I'd stay here until he got back from the dentist.
Niles: Oh well, we'll keep you company. Why'd he need you to hang around?
Daphne: He's making lunch for Lilith.
Niles: And off we go!

Martin: Hey, Lilith. Sorry for the hold-up, but Frasier should be back from the dentist any minute.
Lilith: Oh, all right. That'll give us a chance to visit. [long silence] Daphne, Niles, congratulations on the successful commingling of your genetic material.
Daphne: Thank you.
Lilith: Do you know the sex?
Niles: Do we? That's how we got pregnant!

Lilith: I would say it's a boy.
Daphne: Oh, what makes you say that?
Lilith: Well, it's highly unscientific, but the proverbial old wives would cite the spreading of your nose, the unevenness of your breasts, and the coarse black hair on your legs.
Daphne: Interesting... [to Martin] Is that the shoe box from under your bed, then?

Martin: You start calling upholsterers. Niles, get me some spackle. [Niles runs to the hallway] I'll see if I can Krazy Glue the head back on that thing.
[Niles then runs to the other side of the apartment, before returning to Martin]
Niles: Dad, Dad! What's spackle?

Nancy: We'll go together. What are you having?
Frasier: All right. Uh, a macchiato for here.
Nancy: [to James] One macchiato for here, and a mocha Valencia to go, please. [to Frasier] Macchiato man. Don't meet many of those.
Frasier: No, no, we're a, a rare breed. Spartan... rugged...
James: You like a dusting of nutmeg on that, right?
Frasier: Just a sprinkle.

Frasier: Oh, Niles, have you changed your mind about my new statue? Yesterday you said it was sterile and unmoving.
Niles: Oh, it's moving now.

Lilith: [on the phone] Yes, of course I'm excited, Nancy. Can't you hear it in the timbre of my voice? Yes, well, I'm afraid I might be a little bit late. I'm still waiting for my ex-husband.

Frasier: You know, you are here for just one night. Perhaps I could call and push things back a bit?
Lilith: Maybe I could delay mine as well.
Frasier: Great.
Lilith: All right.
Lilith: What excuse are you going to use?
Frasier: Oh, I'll just trot out my stand-by, it works every time. Simply say that I swerved to avoid hitting a Chihuahua, ran up on a curb and blew a tire.
Lilith: This morning you said it was a Pomeranian.
Frasier: Well, this morning it was.

Lilith: Well done, Dr. Crane.
Frasier: Back at you, Dr. Sternin. I'd suggest that we try a high-five, but I recall we attempted that once after a bridge victory and you scratched my cornea.

Frasier: You know, it's funny.
Lilith: What?
Frasier: Well, I was just thinking that if we had never met, we're exactly the kind of people that somebody might set up on a blind date.
Lilith: You always were one for droll hypotheticals.
Frasier: Ah, yes. It's amusing to consider though, you know? What would we think of each other if were just meeting now for the first time?
Lilith: But if we hadn't met, we'd be different people now.
Frasier: Ah, true. But then that raises many other questions. I mean, what sort of man would the non-Lilith Frasier be? What sort of woman...?
Lilith: Did I mention I have a plane to catch?
Frasier: Of course.