Marie: Come on, Frank.
Frank: Look at her. That's who you picked for me?
Marie: Sit down, dear.
Frank: Is that picture before or after?

Marie: George. Oh, George, I am sorry. I am so sorry.
George: Thank you for coming, Marie.
Marie: How old was she?
George: 82.
Marie: 82. So young. So young!
George: I know, Marie. And I'll tell ya somethin' you two should enjoy every moment you have with each other.
Debra: [to Ray] That shut 'em up.

Ray: Hey, Bernie. I thought you were sick.
Bernie: Me? I'm healthy as a horse. You're the sick one.
Ray: I'm not sick.
Linda: You spent the whole night on the bathroom floor.
Ray: I thought you spent the whole night on the bathroom floor.
Bernie: Who told you that?
Debra: Hey, a wonderful lady is in a box over there.

Bernie: So you tell people I sleep on the bathroom floor? If you didn't wanna see us, you could have just said so.
Linda: Did we do something to offend you?
Debra: No no! Not at all.
Bernie: Then, why?
Ray: I think I can explain it.
Debra: I think you shouldn't, Ray.
Ray: Debra's jealous.
Bernie: Jealous of what?
Ray: Of Linda.
Debra: Ray.
Linda: And me.
Bernie: What?!
Debra: No, it's not like that.

Ray: Remember the other night when my parents were talkin' about future spouses? Well, Debra and I got into it. And she picked Linda for me and I said, "Fine." She couldn't take it.
Debra: Because he wouldn't wipe that stupid look off his face.
Bernie: You were picturing her naked, weren't you? Bernie! That's what all guys do they see a woman, they picture her naked.
Linda: Oh, yeah? You picture Debra naked?
Bernie: Huh? No! No more than you picture Ray naked!
Ray: Eww!
Bernie: "Eww"?
Debra: Yeah, that's right. I would never picture Bernie naked.
Bernie: It's because I'm heavy, isn't it? No, I know have trouble with weight. I happen to have a glandular problem.
Ray: I picked you for her, but she didn't want you.
Debra: Ray, would you stop saying that?!

Linda: Debra decided that if she dies, Ray should be with me.
Bernie: And Ray picked me for Debra, but apparently I'm too fat!
Debra: That's not true, Bernie!
Robert: Did Debra even consider me?
Amy: Hey, I'm right here!
Ray: Don't worry about it, Amy. Robert wasn't good enough for her either.
Amy: What's wrong with Robert?
Funeral Director: Excuse me. You're gonna have to lower your voices.

Marie: I'm not gonna tell you again you stay away from my husband!
Frank: Marie, we were just talking!
Marie: No, you weren't just talking you were picturing her naked!
Frank: Get outta my head, woman!
Marie: Let me tell you something, Frank. I don't care what your dreams are, you are never gonna find yourself in the arms of Harriet Lichtman!
Frank: And let me tell you something, Marie. I don't care how many plans you make, I wouldn't be caught dead with Rose Caputo! [gasps]
[As Frank and Marie head for the door, Amy, Robert, Linda, Bernie, Debra and Ray follow them]
Ray: [to George] Thanks. We had a good time.

Robert: So who would you pick for me?
Amy: Robert, I don't want to do this.
Robert: Come on. Just for fun.
Amy: We're not even married yet and you want to know who can replace me?
Robert: I picked somebody to replace me.
Amy: Oh, yeah? Who?
Robert: Well, what about Raymond?
Amy: Ray?!
Robert: Ah, that's my girl!