Marie: Oh. You poor dear.
Lois: No, no, it's okay, Marie. It's okay.
Marie: He's leaving you.
Lois: No, it's completely mutual. We're both quite happy, honestly.
Marie: You don't have to pretend with me. You can tell me all the awful details. Please.

Marie: Go on, dear.
Lois: Well, it's really very simple. It's been over 40 years, and we needed a change.
Marie: You don't seem very upset.
Lois: Actually, I'm more upset and surprised that Debra seems so upset.
Marie: Well, I must say. I completely understand Debra here. I mean, I was brought up to consider it a sin to [whispers] divorce. And here you are talking about it so casually. How long have you and Warren been separated?
Lois: About two weeks.
Marie: What's it like?

Debra: I have to tell you something.
Ray: Yeah.
Debra: It's pretty big.
Ray: Oh, boy.
Debra: Yeah. My parents have separated. They're on the path to divorce. [Ray laughs] You laugh? You laugh?!
Ray: No, no, no, no. No! It's one of those moments, you know? It's too serious or something. I wasn't ready for it. This is terrible. [holds back laughter] No, all right, st- There's nothing funny here. This is awful. You know what it is. It's just it's the way that you said it. "They're on the path to divorce." I'm not smiling. I didn't smile. I'm not smiling. You know what it is? It's the image I have. I picture that there was a path in the forest with, like, one of those wooden signs. "Divorce this way" and... I don't know. What? Like "Three little pigs this way." And then your face when you said it, it was just a little serious. That's all. No! I think I had too much fun at work today. You know what happened? The door to the vending machine, it was broken, see? Free candy. These are my favorites. Twix.

Ray: What happened to your parents?
Debra: Why, you want another good laugh?
Ray: [smirks] I didn't laugh. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Come on, I'm sorry about your parents. It's very bad. [holds back grin] I'm sorry. We have to talk about this. I wanna talk about this with you. Come on, we have to discuss this. So, your parents, boy...
Debra: Go ahead.
Ray: Well, I don't- What do you say? I'm sorry. But, I mean, I have to say this. I think everybody could have seen this coming, right? I mean, remember Thanksgiving, how they yelled? It was terrible. I had a hard time finishing my pie.

Debra: So this doesn't worry you?
Ray: What?
Debra: What about us.
Ray: What do you mean?
Debra: What if we're headed that way? I keep a lot of stuff inside, too.
Ray: No, you don't. I drop a sock on the floor, you scream like a horror movie.
Debra: There's plenty more I keep inside, believe me.
Ray: There can't be a lot left in there.

Debra: I hate my mother.
Ray: Oh, no, you don't. How do you know this is your mother's fault?
Debra: It's her fault. She's so... Why is she doing this? I mean, my parents being together. I mean, I have counted on that my whole life. Through school and college and then struggling after college. And, you know, when I didn't know what I was doing or where I was going, at least I had... Their marriage was like a rock, the one solid rock for me.
Ray: Well, maybe it was more like a stone, okay? And now it has passed.
Debra: That's enough. That's just enough.
Ray: What did I do?
Debra: You can't have a real conversation. You gotta be funny. Idiot.
Ray: It wasn't that funny! Hey, no, come on, look, I'm trying to be understanding here, okay? I'm not the one who said "idiot," all right? But I'm willing to overlook it because I understand. You're the child of a broken home.

Robert: Listen, I was sorry to hear about you and Warren.
Lois: Thank you.
Robert: I've been there.
Lois: That's right. What was your wife's name again?
Robert: Joanne. She was actually quite horrible.
Lois: Right, I remember.
Robert: Just so you know, it gets better as time passes. You know?
Lois: Thank you, Robert. Actually, we're pretty okay with it now.
Robert: Yeah, so was Joanne. She had a party.
Lois: Oh?
Robert: At her old strip club. All her friends were there... Satin, Bubbles, Lick-Lick.

Warren: Debra. Your mom said you were up here.
Debra: Hi, Dad. [cries] I can't find a kerchief. [Warren hugs her] What are you doing here?
Warren: Well, the invitation said "Round 'em up birthday party." It promised a "rootin' tootin' time".

Ray: Hey! Cheese doodle. Oh, I ordered a moon bounce for the kids party Saturday. It's a corral. Goes with your whole cowboy theme. They said you gotta be under 80 pounds to jump in there, but screw that guy. I'm going in.

Lois: Oh, hi.
Debra: Hi.
Lois: Ally's kerchief tore.
Debra: Yeah.
Lois: Well, she needs another one to go with her cowgirl ensemble.
Debra: Okay, I'll get it.
Lois: Debra, wait.
Debra: What?
Lois: I don't know. I was just hoping that maybe you could have tried to come to terms with the situation over the last couple of days.
Debra: No, I'm fine, Mom, but thanks for the couple of days to come to terms with it. I gotta get that kerchief.