Natasha: I just wanted to drop off some things for the police clothing drive.
Debra: Okay. I mean, you're more than welcome to leave them here, but you might do better taking them to his place.
Natasha: Oh, I'm sorry. This isn't Robert's house. I saw "R. Barone" in the phone book. I just assumed-
Marie: That's okay. We'll make sure he gets them.
Natasha: Thank you. It was nice meeting you.
Debra: You, too.
Frank: Well, hello.
Natasha: Hello.
Marie: Frank. Frank, this is Robbie's new friend, Natasha.
Frank: Natasha. Well, any gorgeous friend of Robert's is a gorgeous friend of mine. Where is Ray? I want to see his dead toenail. I think I got the same thing.

Ray: Just wait a minute! Okay. Just back it up, everybody.
Natasha: Robert, what is going on?
Marie: That's not Robert. That's Raymond.
Natasha: You're not Robert?
Ray: Okay, look, if you just let me talk, I can explain everything. ... ... ... I am Robert.
Frank: Wow! That is one bad alibi!
Robert: [changes voice] I come to fix sprinkler.

Debra: What the hell is wrong with you? You have to pretend to be somebody else? I mean, please, how old are you? You have got to have a little more self-esteem!
Robert: You're right. I'm an idiot.
Debra: Yes- No! That's no! That's what I'm talking about! When are you gonna see what other people see in you, Robert?
Robert: I know, I know. It started as a mix-up, and then Raymond and I just started having so much fun with it.
Debra: Wait a minute. Ray and you?
Ray: By "Ray," he means him because of that thing he did.
Robert: No, no. I'm not blaming you, Ray. I mean, it's my fault. I enjoyed being Raybert, too.
Marie: Raybert?
Robert: Yeah. That's what we called us. It was fun. And it worked. There was Natasha, and then the girl in the laundry room.
Debra: The girl in the laundry room?
Ray: [changes voice] I go fix sprinkler now.

Man: What are you trying to pull?
Wendi: You're not Ray Barone?
Robert: I have self-esteem issues.
Wendi: What is wrong with you?
Robert: No one knows.
Man: Stay away from my daughter, understand me? Or I'll call the cops.
Robert: A-a-actually I am a cop.
Man: You want to play with me now? [Robert shakes his head] Let's go. From now on, you do your laundry at home.
Wendi: Weirdo!
Robert: That doesn't help my self-esteem!

Robert: She was a dynamo!
Ray: Oh, really?
Robert: Oh, yeah!
Ray: How was I?
Robert: So-so.