Marie: So that's how you both fell? A race around the house, which you often do as a tradition?
Ray: Uh, yeah.
Frank: Stupid, humped-up termite trap!
[Frank falls through the stairs into the basement]
Marie: Oh, my God! Frank, are you all right?
Frank: [o.s.] Holy crap!
Marie: Don't move, I'm coming right down!
Frank: [o.s.] I'm in enough pain!

Robert: I'm telling you, the ground, it shook.
Frank: Why didn't you run?
Robert: I did run, Dad. I don't know if you've ever been in this situation before, but the first thing that comes to mind is run! So I'm running and running, and he's getting closer and closer, and then his horn gets me and my feet are off the ground, like I'm flying. Incredibly painful flying. Then he tosses me aside like a sock, and I'm on the pavement, and he gives me a couple of snorts and lumbers up the ramp and into his trailer.
Debra: Unbelievable! You were gored!
Frank: By a freakin' bull! Holy crap!

Marie: Come on, stop it, you two.
Frank: I gotta say, the counseling doesn't seem to be working.
Marie: Now, I want you to sit down and let's try to talk this out.
Debra: Marie, I am not sitting down.
Marie: Please, Debra. I may not be a certified therapist, but I've been told by many people that I could be.
Frank: That's not what they mean when they say you're certifiable.

Ray: What do you want?
Robert: Aw, nothing. I was just feeling a little guilty over my laughing at your predicament yesterday.
Ray: Well, you know, whatever. Debra and I talked it out. We're fine now.
Robert: That's good, 'cause I was thinking about it, and the truth is it's good that you guys acknowledged that you had a problem and you took the right steps to deal with it. Maybe I should have done that when I was married, huh?
Ray: Hmm. All right, well, thanks. Thanks, man.
Robert: Look, I know you're feeling bad, so I got you something.
[Robert brings in a cardboard cut-out of Marie dressed as a bride]
Robert: Enjoy, you sick bastard.

Frank: I can't believe you two went to a shrink. He's the one with the problems.
Robert: Let's keep this on Raymond, shall we? Personally, Deb, I think it's about time that a neutral party be brought in to set him straight on just how great he's got it.
Debra: Well, that's not what happened, because the Raymond we all know disappeared as soon as we got there.
Ray: What- What? What are you talking about?
Debra: Oh, you were open and considerate and willing to look at your own faults. You made me sick!