Amy: I'd be willing to put up with all of them, if it wasn't for his biggest problem. [Robert has a horrified look on his face] His total fear of commitment.
Stefania: Yes.
Amy: Because I believe that may have contributed to our breaking up 29 times.
Robert: It wasn't 29-
Stefania: Let her speak!
Amy: "I think I love you." "I love you." "I thought I loved you." "I love you." "I think I love you."
Stefania: "I want you so much." "I don't want you."
Amy: "I love you."
Judy: "She's the one." "She's not the one."
Robert: All right! Look. It's obvious that people are very angry with me. But the fact is that things just weren't right between you and me. And you and me. I apologize to both of you for any hurt feelings that I may have caused. But I hope you believe me when I tell you that is was never, ever, my intention.

Robert: If an angry mob comes to the door with pitchforks and torches, it's for me.
Debra: What's the matter?
Robert: Ma's got Amy and Stefania over there and they're all talking about how they're gonna fix me.
Debra: Well, I'm... I'm sure she means well.
Robert: What?
Debra: I don't know.

Debra: I- I mean, that was the that was so sweet, and I was just so mean to you. And I'm not perfect! Tell him, Ray.
Ray: Is this a trap?
Debra: I mean, Robert, you don't really-
Robert: No, no, no, no. Wait, wait, wait, wait. What I meant is that you're perfect for him.
Ray: Yeah, yeah, yeah, but that's not what you said.
Robert: But that's what I meant.
Ray: But that's not what you said. Why did you say that?
Robert: I don't know I had a rough day?
Ray: Yeah, well, I've had rough days and I never said she was perfect.

Ray: Tell me what's wrong with her! I'm very curious!
Robert: All right! She can be moody and critical!
Ray: Oh, we all say that one!
Robert: Look, you asked me and that's what I think! She can be horrible!
Debra: Okay!
Robert: And here's another thing! She has one of those eyes that are little higher than the other!
Ray: Oh, yeah yeah.
Debra: Hey!
Robert: And I usually I usually don't care about posture, but she's all-
Debra: All right! Knock it off!

Robert: Hey, Ma.
Marie: Hi, Robbie.
Robert: Did you want something?
Marie: Yes, sit down, dear. Have a seat. Now I know yesterday might have been a little rough on you, but I want you to know no matter what was said, you're my boy, and you'll always be my boy and I love you.
Robert: Thanks, Ma.
[Marie puts a towel around Robert's neck and grabs a pair of scissors]
Robert: Ma, what are you doing?
Marie: Number 19 on the list. Your little ear hairs.

Marie: Well, dear, you know, I've always been fond of both Amy and Stefania. And once I heard that they had met each other, I just-
Robert: How'd you find out about that?
Marie: Well, that's all anybody's talking about.
Marie: So anyway, I just want us to have a nice, candid conversation about life and romance and what's wrong with you.
Amy: I wrote out a list.
Stefania: My spelling not so good. I do drawings.
Robert: You gave them homework?
Marie: It's all to help you, dear. Don't you want to be a better man?

Ray: I'll tell you this, you better watch out, 'cause Marco now knows you like girls.
Frank: You do like girls?
Robert: Okay, Dad.
Frank: Then why do you walk that way?