Ray: I was gonna destroy you, anyway, so, fine. This'll be the icing on my delicious victory pie.
Robert: Yeah? We'll see who'll be eating the delicious pie.
Ray: Oh, you are goin' down!
Robert: Oh, yeah? You're goin' down... to your basement, so you can pretty it all up for Big Mama.
Ray: Nah. I don't think so. I don't think so. No, I beat you pretty good the last time, pal.
Robert: All right, and I beat you the last three times before that.
Ray: Just so you know, I've been practicing my putting while Debra thinks I'm reading to the kids, okay? So... So, just get ready, man. "Oh, Robbie, it's too cold in the house. Robbie, it's too hot in the house. Robbie, I hope you're making a baby in there." Yeah! Yeah! That's right. That is correct. She's gonna be with you till the day she dies!

Robert: Here you go, Ma.
Marie: Oh, my goodness!
Ray: Yeah. Listen, Ma, we're sorry. We shouldn't have yelled at you.
Robert: Yeah, we felt bad all day.
Marie: Oh, you shouldn't have. You're the best sons any mother could hope for. [kisses Ray & Robert]
Frank: Why do I suddenly want jelly doughnuts?
Marie: Oh, these shelves are so beautiful. And flowers!
Robert: Glad you like 'em, Mom. Sorry they weren't ready in time for Lee and Stan.
Marie: Oh, that doesn't matter. Come on, you're gonna carry these shelves over to Lee's house right now.
Ray: Okay. All right, Ma. Pick it up. Oh, by the way, Deb, I beat Robert at golf, so when Dad dies, Mom's gonna live with us.

Ray: Hey, let me help you with these things. This is nice, us working together like this.
Debra: What's goin' on, Ray?
Ray: Okay, all right. Here's the thing: Robert and the guys, they, uh, wanna go golfing tomorrow, and I said, "No! No way! Because it's... It's the weekend, and the weekend is for family!" But then-
Debra: Ray, Ray, Ray. Spare me. You wanna play golf, go ahead.
Ray: Really? 'Cause I had a lot more prepared.
Debra: Ray, just play golf. You don't have to put on a big show. I mean, it insults me when you pretend to be a good husband.

Robert: Uh, Raymond, did you talk to a certain someone about a certain something?
Debra: You don't have to speak in code, Mr. Bond. I already said yes.

Amy: So, Deb, since the guys are leaving for golf tonight, maybe you and I should do something.
Ray: What? Tonight? You said golf tomorrow!
Ray: Okay. See we're gonna play Bethpage Black, which is the most famous public course in the country - perhaps the world - and the only way to get a tee time is to line up in your car tonight and wait there until the morning. And, uh, well...
Robert: Deb, please let him do this. I- I- It's for me, Gianni and Andy because, you know, we don't like Ray, either. It's just, I mean we need a fourth body. And a van.

Marie: Oh, you boys have done a beautiful job putting these together.
Ray: Thank you, Ma. Thanks.
Marie: Do me a favor: Don't sand them in here.
Ray: Sand them?
Marie: Of course. You can't paint them until you sand them.
Ray: Paint them?!
Marie: I can't have unfinished wood in my house. It doesn't go with the decor.
Ray: It's the laundry room! This color will go very nice with that orange box of Tide.

Robert: Yet we still felt bad, like all we were doing wasn't good enough.
Ray: Yeah. We always feel bad. We fall for it every time! The guilt. Your guilt!
Marie: If you feel guilty, it's not because of me.
Robert: Oh, yeah, right, Ma. By the way, where's the limp? Yeah!
Marie: I feel very sad. [limps back over to her chair] All this anger against me because of your precious golf.
Ray: No! That's just the straw that broke the camel's back! You've been making us feel guilty about stuff our whole lives, and we're sick of it!
Robert: Sick!
Ray: Nothing is ever good enough, and it's always our fault!

Frank: Hey, you can't speak to your mother like that!
Ray: You do!
Frank: She's not my mother!

Ray: I'm sorry. Look, the guilt trip, it's over! Come on. Let's get outta here. And we're not movin' that!
Robert: That's right. Amen, brother!
Marie: Fine! Go! Leave an old, crippled woman with unfinished shelves and an uncaring husband!
Robert: Yesterday, that would've worked. [limps out]

Ray: Feelin' bad about Ma?
Robert: Yeah.
Ray: Yeah, but we were right to leave, right?
Robert: Oh, yeah, definitely. And I'm glad you were there with me, cubby.
Ray: Yeah. No, we were good. We stood up for each other, you know? We gotta remember that for the future.
Robert: Yeah, it's true 'cause we usually let it divide and conquer us, but tonight it was you and me. We had the power. We beat her.
Ray: Yeah. Yeah. And she's tough to beat.
Robert: Oh! The guilt.
Ray: Yeah. She majored in guilt with a minor in crazy.