Adult Chris: [v.o.] Anyone who says money can't buy happiness never saw my mother with her IRS refund couch.
Rochelle: Ooh, this is nice.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] After two years at Corleone, I'd gotten used to being the only Black kid. But it had two major down sides. One down side was, I was the only Black kid. And the other was, I was the only Black kid.
Ms. Morello: Let's celebrate the day Chris's people finally realized they were emancipated. Happy Juneteenth, Chris. [blows party horn]
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I thought that things would never change. Then Albert arrived. I was excited about Albert's arrival and anxious for us to meet. But I decided to play it cool.
Chris: S'up?
Albert: S'up?
Chris: All right? [Albert nods]
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I was cool on the outside but inside I felt like this...
[fantasy: Chris and Albert engage in an elaborate hand shake routine]
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Cool or not, we were two of a kind.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] The only one who wasn't looking forward to Albert being at Corleone was Greg.
Chris: I'm going to go talk to the new kid.
Greg: I've been dreading this day.
Chris: What are you talking about?
Greg: I always knew that someday someone would come along that had more in common with you.
Chris: Just 'cause he's Black? Greg, that's silly.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Not that silly.
Chris: I'll be back.
Greg: [to himself] Sure you will.

Chris: Hey, welcome to Corleone.
Albert: Hi, I'm Albert.
Chris: Hey, Chris.
Albert: Man, I was glad to see you. When I first got here, I thought it was going to be like my last school, where I was the only Black kid.
Chris: Mm-hmm.
Albert: They really gave me a hard time over there. I got beat up almost every day.
Chris: Same here. What school did you go to?
Albert: Strom Thurmond Junior High.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] The only Black kids allowed there were children of Strom Thurmond.
Chris: Well, now there's two of us, which is twice as much as there was before. So, we can have each other's back.
Albert: That sounds like a plan.

Rochelle: This is way too much!
Tonya: What's way too much?
Rochelle: Our refund, it's, it's three times more than what we were expecting.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That's how MC Hammer got in trouble.
Drew: Cool, now we can finally buy stuff without having to put it on layaway.
Rochelle: You got that right. Hey, don't take your coats off.
Tonya: Why, where are we going?
Rochelle: Shopping! We're going shopping!

Adult Chris: [v.o.] The tighter I got with Albert, the more uptight Greg got.
Greg: Hey, Chris. Do you want to come over and play some video games?
Chris: Nah, we're gonna go hang out. You want to come?
Greg: Where are you going?
Albert: We're going to the record store. The twelve inch of "The Show" just came out.
Greg: What show?
Chris: Doug E. Fresh.
Greg: Dougie who?
Chris: You know, Slick Rick... [rapping] La-di-da-di...
Chris & Albert: We like to party. We don't cause trouble. We don't bother nobody.

Chris: Hey, Greg, we're going to go hang out later. Want to come?
Greg: Who's we?
Chris: Me and Albert.
Greg: Oh, so you're "we" now? You know, you and I used to be "we." Now all of a sudden we have nothing in common.

Chris: Like, Albert knows what it's like to be the only Black kid in school. And that's something you won't get. You never will. That's all I'm saying.
Greg: Well, all I'm saying is... watch your back... friend.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] How can my life be this much of a soap opera with no women involved.

Albert: Hey, let's get out of here before your man shows up.
Chris: Who, Greg?
Albert: Yeah, he's no fun at all. Hey, watch this. [to another kid] Nice shirt. Did Prince just have a garage sale? [to a Latino kid] Hey, Chico and the Man, Freddie Prinze just called. And he wants his hair back.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Taunt the Puerto Rican kid. That's a good way to get cut.
Chris: Hey, man, what are you doing?
Albert: I'm just having a little fun. Try it.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] It wasn't natural for me to act like a jerk, but I learned quick.
Chris: Hey, Caruso.
Joey Caruso: What, mutt?
Chris: You know, you have a face like a saint. A Saint Bernard.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] One Black kid Caruso could handle. But two of us was like Will and Martin in Bad Boys.

Rochelle: Hey, babe. How come you're not sitting on the couch?
Julius: Did you read this letter from the IRS?
Rochelle: Yeah, so?
Julius: So? So it says they could demand their money back with interest at any time if they determine that a mistake was made.
Rochelle: Baby, they send that letter to everybody.
Julius: Well, what if they want their money back? Where am I going to get it from?
Rochelle: Julius, you got better odds of being struck by lightening than the IRS wanting their money back.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Statistically, she was right.
[fantasy: Julius is struck by lightening on the stoop as he steps out on a stormy day]