Chris: I told you I'd be back.
Greg: Yeah, but for how long, Chris? For how long?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That concludes another episode of "As The Nerd Turns."

Adult Chris: [v.o.] The more time I spent with Albert, the more I found out we had a lot in common.
Chris: Did you see 227 this week?
Albert: Aw, man, how funny was that?
Chris: When Sandra pretended to be Mary?
Albert: Then Lester comes home and cold busts her?
Chris: Man, I love that show!
Albert: Me, too!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Back then there were almost no Black shows on TV. Kind of like it is now.

Julius: Look, Rochelle, I had plans for that money, that didn't include spending it all on a couch.
Rochelle: But, baby, we got triple the amount that we were supposed to get.
Julius: Triple?
Rochelle: Yes!
Julius: But we were only supposed to get back $600.
Rochelle: I know, I know, and that's why I bought a little bit of something for everybody. I paid some bills for you, and I bought the couch for me, and I bought some variety cereal packs for the kids.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Wow, cereal. Careful, you'll spoil us.

Chris: What are you talking about? We're together now.
Greg: Well, this doesn't count. I mean we don't even eat lunch together anymore. You haven't returned my phone calls. But hey, things can change, right?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Is this a show about my childhood or an episode of Dr. Phil?
Chris: What do you want me to say? We have a lot in common. He gets stuff that you don't.
Greg: Like what?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Sickle-cell anemia.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Ms. Morello was right. Hanging out with Albert was cool. But I still felt bad about fighting with Greg.
Joey Caruso: There goes the neighborhood.

Rochelle: Besides, what's the worst that can happen?
[fantasy: An IRS seizure and recovery truck is outside the house:]
Julius: Where did they go...? What is go... Oh, my...
Chris: Dad, they took the TV.
Rochelle: Julius, they took my wigs. Ow!
Drew: Dad... They're taking Tonya.
Tonya: Ah!
Julius: [screaming] No!

Tonya: [o.s.] Drew, give it!
Drew: [o.s.] No, I called the Chocalot.
Tonya: [o.s.] Mama, Drew took my Chocalots.
Rochelle: Both of y'all, get in here now. Julius, they driving me crazy behind this cereal.
Chris: Well, Drew did call the Chocalots.
Julius: I don't care who called what. It's too early for all this arguing. Drew, give your sister the cereal.
Drew: Fine. But tomorrow I call the Froot Loops.
Tonya: No, Ma, I...
Rochelle: Girl, don't press your luck before I knock the Rice Krispies out of you.
Drew: Man, who ate up all the Cereal Smack?
Julius: I called the Cereal Smacks. See? [eats] I called them.

Rochelle: Julius, what's wrong?
Julius: [sighs] I can't stop worrying about this refund. I mean, I keep having these nightmares the government's going to take all we own, and we have to end up living in the street.
Rochelle: That is not going to happen.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] It happened to Redd Foxx.
Julius: How do you know?
Rochelle: 'Cause I'm not living in the streets. If everybody in this house has to get two jobs, we'll find a way to pay the money back.

Chris: Yeah, I can pick up some extra hours at Doc's.
Tonya: Do I have to get two jobs?
Rochelle: Well, if you want to stay here with two parents and two brothers, yes, you have to get two jobs.
Tonya: But what if I get one job, and I keep Daddy?
Rochelle: Girl, don't play with me.
Drew: Well, I could get a job as a bullfighter and get a paper route.
Julius: Boy, I'm not going to let you kill yourself out there on no paper route.
Rochelle: Chris, you take the paper route. Drew, why don't you find something else to do?

Chris: Thanks for getting me out of detention.
Greg: Don't mention it. You'd do the same for me.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Greg was right. I would. Because when it came to our friendship, we didn't see color.
Joey Caruso: Hey, Count Chocula. Hey, Captain Crunch.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Never would have happened if I had convinced Greg to wear Black face.