Rochelle Quote #377
Quote from Rochelle in Everybody Hates the New Kid
Rochelle: Hey, babe. How come you're not sitting on the couch?
Julius: Did you read this letter from the IRS?
Rochelle: Yeah, so?
Julius: So? So it says they could demand their money back with interest at any time if they determine that a mistake was made.
Rochelle: Baby, they send that letter to everybody.
Julius: Well, what if they want their money back? Where am I going to get it from?
Rochelle: Julius, you got better odds of being struck by lightening than the IRS wanting their money back.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Statistically, she was right.
[fantasy: Julius is struck by lightening on the stoop as he steps out on a stormy day]
Everybody Hates Chris Quotes
‘Everybody Hates the New Kid’ Quotes
Quote from Ms. Morello
Ms. Morello: Okay, now this is an easy one. Who was the only president to ever be impeached? Chris?
Chris: Uh, George Washington Carver? [laughter]
Ms. Morello: No, Chris. George Washington Carver was the Black peanut genius. And you should know that. Albert?
Albert: I don't know.
Ms. Morello: What do you mean, you don't know? Did you read the assigned material? You can read, can't you?
Albert: Yeah, I can read.
Ms. Morello: Well, then, there's no excuse for you not having studied. Now, I know you and Chris are having fun shucking and jiving together, but you should really spend more time studying...
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Albert looked at her like he was about to get his third strike.
Quote from Ms. Morello
Ms. Morello: Chris, you must be so happy. You must feel just like Jackie Robinson when Larry Doby arrived.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] More like Robert Perish when Dennis Johnson showed up.
Chris: Who's Larry Doby?
Ms. Morello: He was the second Black man in baseball, but he was taller than Jackie and more... strapping. With his strong shoulders and Nubian profile. His Cleveland Indians uniform complimented by the rich caramel color of his skin. And the way he swung his bat. [giggles]
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Forget jungle fever. She's having a jungle seizure.
Chris: Ms. Morello, are you okay?
Ms. Morello: Uh, yes. Anyway... after years of being alone and ostracized, you now have a soul brother. Somebody to talk jive with and to shoot dice with, to talk about being raised by MaDear with. Just seeing the two of you together would make your leaders like Dr. King and Uncle Remus proud. Oh, happy day! [giggles]
Adult Chris: [v.o.] She might have been crazy, but she was right. I finally had somebody I could really relate to.
Quote from Rochelle
Rochelle: Hey, wait, wait, wait, where are you going?
Chris: I'm going to go sit down.
Rochelle: No you're not. New couch, new rules. There'll be no eating on this couch. So that means no soups, no salads, no sandwiches, no ribs, no Cheerios, no Bazooka gum, nothing. If you fall asleep, keep your funky little feet on the floor. Put a towel underneath your face to keep the drool and the dribble from getting on my pillows. If you sit down, you cannot have any pens, pencils, markers, nothing.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] By the time I sat on the new couch, it was the old couch.