Chris: Oh, well, since you're all here, I was wondering if you could help me with my homework.
Rochelle: Oh, what do you need, baby? I need to find out what everybody's really thankful for this Thanksgiving.
Tonya: Well, I'm thankful I didn't have to eat any of your burnt mac and cheese.
Drew: I'm thankful for Carla, Leslie, Pam, Christie, Michelle, Tanisha, and Miss Patterson.
Mr. Omar: I'm thankful for Mrs. Tyler, Mrs. Jackson, Mrs. Watkins, Mrs. Turner, Mrs. Perkins And Mrs. Patterson.

Rochelle: Oh, Julius. It's beautiful.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] You didn't think he was going to waste $95 worth of brand name food.

Julius: I'm thankful my son has a job.
Louis: [as Sammy Davis Jr.] I'm thankful for the world's greatest older brother, man, and I mean that. Hey, big round of applause for the man who made Thanksgiving possible, ladies and gentlemen.
Michael: I'm thankful I don't have to sit with those kids no more.

Ms. Morello: Class I've decided to give you a holiday homework assignment.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Damn.
Ms. Morello: Yes, Chris?
Chris: But it's a holiday.
Ms. Morello: And a very special one, Chris. So for your assignment, I want you to talk to family and friends, and then write an essay on what you're thankful for this Thanksgiving.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I used to be thankful for no homework.

Julius: [blows whistle] Everybody, up, up, up! Get up!
Rochelle: What? What happened?
Julius: Time to cook.
Tonya: Do we have to do it now?
Drew: I'm tired.
Chris: Me, too.
Julius: Only ten hours 'till turkey time.
Rochelle: It's one second to "what the hell is wrong with you" time. What the hell is wrong with you?
Julius: Look, I need everybody's help. If we're gonna do this, we're gonna do this right.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Meanwhile, my Dad was still cooking like a quarterback running plays.
[montage:]
Julius: Hey, Chris, no, no, no. Long, smooth strokes. Don't beat it.
Julius: [to Drew] Did you butter the tops?
Drew: No.
Julius: Well, then it's not ready to go in the oven yet. Here, put the butter on, gently.
Julius: [to Tonya] No, no, no, put that in a glass bowl.
Tonya: But last year, we used the plastic bowl.
Julius: Last year, my brother wasn't coming.
Tonya: What's the difference?
Julius: The difference is, last year my brother wasn't coming. Now put that in a glass bowl. Please?

Chris: What are you doing to that turkey?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That turkey's about to ask for a happy ending.
Julius: My mother always said if you massage the turkey, then the meat will be more tender. Don't put too much pepper on that.
Chris: Got it.

Julius: What are you doing?
Rochelle: Well, you always invite people over when I cook, so I figured I'll invite a few people over since you're cooking.
Julius: Fine. I'm going to take a quick nap. Can you wake me up, so I can put the turkey in when Chris takes the macaroni out?
Rochelle: All right, baby.
Julius: Thank you, babe.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Since we got up so early, it was the first Thanksgiving in history where people took a nap before the turkey.
[three hours later:]
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Of course she didn't fall asleep on purpose, but that didn't matter to the oven.

Chris: Oh, no. No. No!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That's not macaroni and cheese, that's blackaroni and cheese.

Louis: So, I didn't want to show up empty-handed. So voila.
Julius: Thank you.
Mr. Omar: What is it?
Ms. Watkins: It smells delicious.
Mr. Omar: Uh-oh, watch her. Ever since her husband died, she's been eating like it's going out of style. [both laugh]
Louis: They're organic green beans. See, I toasted some almonds up and then I crushed them and drizzled on some olive oil that I pressed myself.
Mr. Omar: Oh, you sound like you went to chef school.
Louis: No, I'm a chiropractor.
Julius: He went to spine school.
Vanessa: You didn't tell me your brother went to college.
Michael: You didn't tell me you had a brother.