‘Everybody Hates Gambling’
Season 2, Episode 19 - Aired April 23, 2007
Chris becomes the neighborhood's favorite odds-maker after talking Doc which team he thought would win. Meanwhile, Tonya tries to beat Drew at a game of checkers.
Quote from Chris
Doc: My man. How are you at baseball?
Chris: I don't know.
Doc: Well, come on, come on, we're on a roll.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I didn't know when that roll would end, but I imagined how it would end.
[fantasy: Doc's corner store has been transformed into an Asian store:]
Wok: My man!
Chris: Who are you?
Wok: [speaking Asian language]
Chris: Wok? What happened to Doc?
Wok: [speaking Asian language]
Chris: Jail? I'm not working for you.
Wok: Want to bet?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I either had to stop Doc from gambling or learn how to skin chickens.
Quote from Chris
Doc: Oh, Chris. I was just about to make that call. Lakers, right?
Chris: Um, you know what? I've been thinking, and I think you should go with Phoenix.
Doc: Phoenix? Over the Lakers? They just lost two games.
Chris: Yeah, I know, but they're at Phoenix. You know, it's a pride thing; they don't want to get swept.
Doc: You sure about that?
Chris: Yep.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Nope.
Doc: My man.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I'm his man today, but tomorrow he's gonna beat me like a bald-headed stepchild.
Quote from Vanessa
Vanessa: What are you doing over here?
Julius: Uh, listen. Everybody in the neighborhood's been winning on the games. Are you sure about the tips you've been getting?
Vanessa: Sure as fried fish is greasy.
Julius: Who's giving the tips, anyway?
Vanessa: I don't know, but he's good. Doc hasn't lost a bet yet.
Julius: Can you put this on the game for me?
Vanessa: Oh, okay.
Julius: And don't tell Rochelle.
Vanessa: Oh, no, wait a minute now; I'm not comfortable with that. I can't lie to my friend.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] You told her that perm looked good.
Julius: Look, I'm not asking you to lie. I'm just saying... keep quiet.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] She'll keep it quiet, just like Paul Revere.
Julius: I'll tell her when I win.
Vanessa: All right, now, you better tell her, or I'll have to.
Quote from Julius
Julius: You lied about who's gonna win tonight's game?
Rochelle: And what does that matter to you?
Julius: I placed a bet on that game.
Chris: You did?
Rochelle: When did you place a bet?
Julius: A little while ago. I gave it to Vanessa.
Rochelle: [laughs] So you went behind my back to my friend?!
Julius: She said she didn't want to do it. I- I told her I'd tell you.
Rochelle: Oh, really? When?
Julius: Now?
Quote from Rochelle
Adult Chris: [v.o.] After all was said and done, I had won some money, lost some money, but there was one thing I hadn't bet on...
Drew: Oh, man! Phoenix wins!
Julius: Yeah, I won! My man!
Rochelle: We won!
Julius: Yeah! I told you, I put money on Phoenix.
Rochelle: [screams] Yes, we won! Baby, thank you so much, Chris.