Adult Chris: [v.o.] Watching Slaver Slav, I learned the most important thing about being a bad boy. When it comes to girls, the meaner the better, and whatever you do, don't be nice.
[rap video:]
Slaver Slav: [raps] Girls be talking about what they like I don't care 'Cause I ain't nice I talked to you once, don't call me twice Kiss my ass, girl, I ain't nice I got no manners, I wear bandannas Word on the street is I'm bananas I got a lot of money, I'm cold as ice So get out my face, ho, I ain't nice I ain't nice, I ain't nice Ha, ha, Slaver Slav!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That girl on the left eventually had a baby with Ghostface Killah.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] I was a bad boy years before Martin Lawrence and Will Smith.
Yolanda: Hey, Chris.
Chris: Do I know you?
Yolanda: You don't remember me?
Chris: Do I look like I remember you?
Yolanda: I'm Yolanda.

Chris: Yolanda?
Sonja: No. Sonja. Why you acting all funny?
Chris: Look, I'm just trying to read. Why don't you go do something?
Sonja: I just wanted to talk to you for a minute. Dag!
Chris: Did you come here to buy something or just get on my nerves?
Sonja: How come every time I come in here, you always playing me off?

Chris: What's your name again?
Carla: It's Carla.
Chris: Does your head just do that, or is that a nervous condition?
Carla: You ain't got to talk about nobody.
Chris: What's up with that hat?
Carla: You don't like it?
Chris: If it's covering up a bald spot, it's fine. It's much better than your hair.
Carla: What's wrong with my hair?
Chris: What's not wrong with your hair?
[montage:]
Yolanda: Call me.
Sonja: Call me.
Carla: Call me.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] I didn't know if this would work on Tasha, or if she had too much self-esteem.
Tasha: Hey, Chris.
Chris: What?
Tasha: I said hi. What's wrong with you?
Chris: Why does something got to be wrong with me? Maybe you just didn't say hi loud enough.
Tasha: Forget it.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Damn! Why did I listen to an old fool that lives alone?
Tasha: Did I do something to you?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] No, but I wish you would.
Chris: Girl, ain't nobody thinking about you.
Tasha: Okay.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Except me.
Tasha: Are you going to the bus stop?
Chris: Yeah. Why?
Tasha: Do you want me to walk with you?
Chris: I don't care.
Tasha: You're trippin'.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] And you're falling for it.

Tasha: I heard your father made Employee of the Month.
Chris: Who told you that?
Tasha: Tonya.
Chris: Oh. [scoffs] The girl talk too much.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That's true.
Tasha: You didn't want me to know?
Chris: Nah, it's just that she be running her mouth. I got this free dinner at this place where Slaver Slav eats. Place called Domaine et Mer.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] He might be ignorant, but he loves good food.
Tasha: Slaver Slav? Wow.
Chris: Yeah. My mom wants to invite one more person. I'm, like, "Yo, Mom, bus' it. Why we got to take one more person?" There's more food for us.
Tasha: I wish I could go. He says the food is incredible.
Chris: Yeah, well, that's what we gonna do. If you want to come, then come on.
Tasha: Are you asking me to go?
Chris: I ain't asking you twice.
Tasha: Thanks.
Man: [v.o.] It's a home run!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] And that ball is out of here.

Chris: What's going on?
Drew: Mom is trying to teach us manners before we go out.
Chris: Manners? Who's going to teach us how to use all these forks?
Rochelle: I'm getting to that.

Tasha: This is so nice. I wonder what Slaver Slav would order.
Chris: Bet it be cheap.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] And fried. [Chris lights a match] Nothing's cooler than lighting a match for no reason.

Rochelle: Do you think the kids will be okay, baby?
Julius: They'll be fine.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Meanwhile, back at the Diff'rent Strokes table...
Drew: This is so cool. Thanks for letting us sit with you guys.
Mrs. Banks: No problem at all.
Mr. Banks: You're our guests, so feel free to order anything you want.
Tonya: For real?
Mrs. Banks: For real. [chuckles]

MaitreD' : May I help you?
Julius: Do you see us sitting here?
MaitreD' : I'm not understanding the question.
Julius: Look, man, we just want to have our dinner and get out of here. Could you please take our order?
MaitreD' : Yes. What would you like?
Rochelle: Okay, um, I was looking at this item right here.
MaitreD' : [takes the menus back] Excuse me. See that.
Julius: Is there something wrong?
MaitreD' : Yes. They gave you the wrong menus. These are the Employee of the Month menus.
Julius: What? There's only three things on here.
MaitreD' : Yes, and we're out of the chicken.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] What?
MaitreD' : Take your time.
Rochelle: [to Julius] But I wanted the chicken.