Jenny: This is a bit awkward, but part of my role as prefect is welcoming the first-year students, and it's come to my attention that there was some sort of an incident on the bus this morning.
Michelle: There was no incident.
Jenny: Apparently, you guys threatened one of the new girls. Said yous was going to beat her up.
Michelle: That's lies.
Jenny: There were quite a few witnesses.
Michelle: No, I mean, we said it, but... ...as a joke, as in, "We're going to beat you up," but, like, in a jokey way.
Jenny: Right. Well, the thing is, that's not actually funny, is it? Like, at all.
Clare: Well, humour is so subjective, really, so...

Sister Declan: And you. Give that here.
Michelle: Ach, Sister...
Sister Declan: Now. [takes the lipstick and drops it in her handbag]
Michelle: Shouldn't you put that in the confiscated box?
Sister Declan: Quiet.
Erin: Really?
Michelle: What am I going to do, Erin? That colour has been discontinued.

Clare: [eating a sandwich] Don't look at me like that, Erin. You'll get your two pound back.
Michelle: But will you ever get your self-respect back, Clare?

Mary: Erin, what in God's name?
Gerry: Did you kill that wee nun, girls?
Erin: Course we didn't.
Sarah: Then why were you pissing on her dead body and making sandwiches?
Joe: Say nothing, girls. Say nothing till we've seen a lawyer.

Erin: It wasn't bullying. It was attempted bullying.
Clare: What if we get expelled?
Michelle: Nobody ever actually gets expelled. Wanda Gallagher hasn't even been expelled, and she's in the IRA.
Erin: So that's probably why.

Dennis: Ah! You touch them, you buy them. That's the law.
Erin: I don't think that is the law.
Dennis: If I say it's the law, it's the law, smart-o.
Erin: Right. It's just I can't afford them any more. Have to give all my money to Kamal.
Dennis: Who the fuck's Kamal?
Orla: He's a wee Ethiopian fella from Ballybofey, Dennis.

Sean: Sorry to keep you waiting, Sister. How long does it take to defuse a fecking bomb? Sure, the wee robots do all the work. Oh, killing nuns now, is it?
Clare: I didn't, Daddy.
Sean: You wait until your mother hears about this.

Sister Michael: This is just so disappointing, girls. I mean, threatening a first-year...
Michelle: We didn't threaten her. We're not stupid. Big Mandy's her sister, and she's half fucking gorilla.
Sister Michael: That's quite enough, Miss Mallon.

Jenny: Hi, guys. Could I just have a quick chat? [to James] You must be new. I'm Jenny. Great hair. Very bold. I'd love to go that short, but, sure, I don't have the bone structure.
Michelle: He's a fella, Jenny.
Jenny: Oh. I see. Anyhoo...
Michelle: [mocking] "Anyhoo." Seriously, shoot me in the face.

Jenny: A new school can seem like a very scary place...
Clare: [to Erin] Do you think Big Mandy looks more schizo than usual? [both look back]
Jenny: ...but try to think of it this way. Right now, you're like a little seed, and the school is like the soil, a safe and stable environment, within which you can grow.
Aisling: Wow, what a great way to look at it.