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Episode One

‘Episode One’

Season 1, Episode 1 -  Aired January 4, 2018

The first day of school promises to be anything but easy for Erin, Orla, Claire, Michele, and new student James, when there's a bomb on the bridge.

Quote from Orla

Erin: Orla, that better not be what I think it is. You better not have brought my diary to school.
Orla: I had to. I'm doing my book report on it.

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Quote from Orla

Michelle: What about Orla?
Erin: Orla is...
Orla: I love my wee fingers.
Erin: Orla's mental. Come on, Michelle. I'm begging you. It's my big chance with David. I'd do it for you.
Michelle: Fine. But we both know you're just gonna sit in the corner like a frigid fuck.
Erin: I'm not frigid.
Orla: You've never even kissed a boy before. You practise on your pillow sometimes, but you don't think that's the same.
Erin: The reading of the diary was bad enough. I could do without the quoting it from memory.

Quote from Michelle

Erin: I cannot actually believe this. I'm missing David Donnelly's gig, Michelle.
Michelle: And all because of that miniature motherfucker.
Erin: I swear, if you say "motherfucker" one more time...
Michelle: What's wrong with you?
Erin: This is your fault.
Michelle: Why's it my fault?
Erin: 'cause you're the one who threatened a first-year. You're the one who gave Jenny Joyce the finger.
James: I'm desperate now. This is agony.
Michelle: Can you please stop crying in my face for five fucking minutes, James?
Clare: I feel awful. I think my body is going into starvation mode. I think it's starting to shut down.
Michelle: For Christ's sake, Clare. You've just basically skipped lunch.

Quote from James

Sister Declan: Mr. Maguire, you have been warned. Do not ask me again.
James: This is disgraceful. I should have access to a lavatory. What about my civil rights?
Sister Declan: Corner.

Quote from Orla

Erin: Oh, my God. David. David Donnelly. OK. Just act normal. [laughs] No way! Are you serious?
Clare: What are you doing? Who are you talking to?
David: Erin, have you got a light?
Erin: Me? No, I don't smoke. Why the hell do I not smoke?
Orla: I have one. I don't smoke either. I just like melting stuff.

Quote from James

James: Where's my mum, Auntie Deidre?
Deidre: She's away back to London.
James: What, without me?
Deidre: Oh, dry your eyes, James.

Quote from Erin

Clare: Do you want to sponsor me, Dennis?
Dennis: Get out!
[outside:]
Erin: [to Clare] Good one, Geldof.

Quote from Erin

Clare: You're not seriously going to this concert, are you?
Erin: Gig, Clare. It's called a gig. And I have to go. He invited me specifically.

Quote from Michelle

Tina: Go on, then.
Michelle: What?
Tina: Beat me up.
Michelle: Well, not now. After school. We'll beat you up after school.
Tina: Grand. I'll meet you after school and you can beat me up.
Erin: What's happening, exactly?
Tina: I'll bring my sister, Mandy. You might know her. Mandy O'Connell. She's an upper sixth.
Erin: Big Mandy? Big Mandy is your sister?
Tina: That's right.
Erin: Retreat.
Michelle: Listen, I think there's been a wee bit of a misunderstanding.
Tina: Thought you might say that. Now fuck off.
Michelle: Right. Will do.

Quote from Michelle

Jenny: Now, the wee girl claims that she's not bothered, but reading between the lines...
Erin: Why are you reading between the lines?
Jenny: I'm just not so sure that I believe her. I don't want to report you guys.
Clare: Please don't report us, Jenny. Please. We'll do anything. Anything at all.
Michelle: Speak for yourself, sugar tits.
Jenny: Think I'll just have to mull it over.
Michelle: Ach, Jenny, mull this over. [gives Jenny the finger]
Jenny: Oh, we'll see.
Erin: Jesus, Michelle.

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