‘Episode One’
Season 1, Episode 1 - Aired January 4, 2018
The first day of school promises to be anything but easy for Erin, Orla, Claire, Michele, and new student James, when there's a bomb on the bridge.
Quote from Ma Mary
Erin: I won't put up with it any more. Teenagers have rights now, you know.
Mary: Don't be ridiculous.
Erin: They do, Ma. It's true. Sure, Macaulay Culkin might be divorcing his parents.
Mary: Do you hear this? This'll be someone she met at that stupid summer scheme you insisted we send her on. A bloody Friends Across the Barricades thing. I have nothing against Protestants. I'm all for integration, I am, but if they're letting their weans divorce them...
Erin: Macaulay Culkin isn't a Protestant, Ma.
Mary: It's only going to give our weans ideas.
Erin: Well, he might be. I didn't meet him at Friends Across the Barricades.
Mary: I don't care where you met him. You're not to see him again. Understood?
Erin: Fine.
Quote from Sister Michael
Sister Michael: If you could all just take a seat.
Deidre: Sorry I'm late, sister. Couldn't get over the bridge. This bloody bomb. I begged the Brits to let me take my chances, but the awkward bastards made me go the long way.
Joe: Health and safety gone mad, Deidre.
Deidre: What are you playing at, rifling through a dead nun's handbag?
Michelle: She stole my lipstick, Mammy.
Deidre: Don't lie. Sister Declan was a woman of God.
Sister Michael: Actually, she was known to be a bit light-fingered.
Quote from Michelle
Michelle: Motherfuckers! "Motherfucker" is my new thing. Watched this film last night. My dad got it off Pyro Pauline, and it's about these two lads, and they wear these cracking suits and they rock about, just shooting people and eating cheeseburgers, and they're all, "Motherfucker this, motherfucker that." It's got your man in it. What do you call him? The disco dancer from Look Who's Talking.
Quote from Michelle
Erin: What's he doing here?
Michelle: Kathy's just got divorced, so she's moved back. The husband caught her doing the dirt on him. She's a bit of a goer, is our Kathy, riding rings around him, so she was. Ain't that right, James?
Erin: No, I mean here, at our bus stop.
Michelle: Oh, he's going to our school.
Erin: But he's a fella. An effeminate fella, but a fella all the same.
Michelle: Everyone was shitting it about sending him to the boys' school. They were worried that the lads would beat him up because, well...
All: He's English.
Michelle: Mm, and you couldn't really blame them, I suppose. Our carriage awaits, motherfuckers.
Quote from Erin
Sister Michael: The hospital are saying it was heart failure, but I have my doubts. As I said on the phone, the circumstances in which I found her body were... strange, to say the least. So I've decided to carry out a full investigation into the incident.
Mary: That makes sense.
Erin: What? Nothing about this makes sense. The woman was almost 98 years of age. She had a heart attack. Why has everybody gone absolutely mental?
Gerry: Less of the cheek, Erin.
Erin: We didn't do anything. It's not fair.
Orla: [v.o.] "But the thing is, life isn't fair. You see, injustice is something I've become accustomed to. I am, after all, a child of the crossfire, surrounded by conflict. But I choose to rise above it. The path to peace is paved with tolerance and understanding. Violence is never the answer."
Erin: I am going to ram that so far up your arse!
Quote from Erin
Orla: [v.o.] "My name is Erin Quinn. I'm 16 years old, and I come from a place called Derry, or Londonderry, depending on your persuasion, a troubled little corner in the Northwest of Ireland. It's fair to say I have a somewhat complicated relationship with my home town. You see, the thing about living in Derry is, there's nowhere to hide. Everybody knows everybody, knows everything about everybody, and sometimes all I really want... is to be simply left alone."
Erin: Is that my diary?
Quote from Sister Michael
Sister Michael: Thank you. Thank you, girls. Some lovely sentiments there. Some very beautiful words. Unfortunately, that's all they are, sentiments and words. What you've just witnessed is a piece of fiction. The reality, I'm sorry to say, is much harsher, far more brutal. So let me take this opportunity to advise all our new girls to keep their guard up. Watch their back. [microphone feedback] Oh, speaking of pupils who need to watch their back, I'd like to introduce James Maguire. Show yourself, please, James. [James raises his hand] James will be the first ever boy to study here at Our Lady Immaculate College. [wolf whistle from the audience] He was due to start at Christian Brother Boys, but there were serious concerns for his safety because, well, unfortunately, James happens to be English. [laughter] But let me make one thing clear... I will not have a repeat of the Mr. Mullin affair. Is that understood?
James: [to Michelle] What's the Mr. Mullin affair?
Michelle: Student teacher. Two fourth-years cable-tied him to the monkey bars and started dry riding him. He was really good-looking, so you've nothing to worry about.
Quote from Erin
Sister Michael: Obviously, Sister Declan's death was extremely shocking and unexpected. We're still struggling to understand exactly what happened. [Erin raises her hand] Yeah?
Erin: Can I just ask, what age was Sister Declan?
Sister Michael: She'd have been 98 on Friday.
Erin: Right. Might that shed some light on the situation?
Sister Michael: How so?
Erin: Does anybody else have any thoughts on the whole "her being almost 98 years of age" thing?
Joe: Struck down in her prime.
Quote from Ma Mary
Joe: Look at this. They're bombing the bridge, apparently.
Mary: No.
Reporter: [on TV] Suspicions were raised when a hijacked van...
Mary: Oh, dear God, no. Does this mean they can't get to school? I've had a whole summer of it, Gerry. She's melting my head.
Gerry: Sure, their bus can go the long way round.
Quote from Orla
Clare: What's happening over there is really lousy, Erin. Father Conway showed us a video. There's this one wee fella, Kamal. He's only ten, and every morning, he walks 25 miles to the nearest well.
Orla: Does he just really enjoy wells, aye?