Diane: Ed? You don't mean that swineherd Ed that's suing you?
Sam: Yeah, that's the one.
Diane: Oh, I see what you're doing. You're taking advantage of the fact that it's Carla's day off to bring Ed in and fool him into thinking you've fired Carla. It's a crass ploy.
Sam: I'm gonna tell him that Carla's in therapy and ask him to understand.
Diane: My way's better.

Coach: Well, here, try to miss me. [Diane groans] Diane, stand right there. Now, I got the batter's box marked off back there at exactly 60 feet, six inches. You ready? OK, here we go.
Diane: Has he done this before?
Sam: Lots.
Coach: [o.s.] Come on, Diane. Back in those days, we didn't wear batting helmets either.
Diane: Sam, this is ridiculous.
Sam: He's gonna stay back there all night unless you throw the ball.
Coach: [o.s.] OK, honey, I'm ready. Let her rip!
Man: Come on, baby.
Diane: All right! I'm not going to get it anywhere near him.
Sam: That's the whole point.
[When Diane throws the ball, a thumping sound is heard]
Coach: [o.s.] I'm on my way to first.
Norm: Way to hum, girl. Right on the old honeydew.
Coach: I really had to dive for that one, but I still got the old touch.

Sam: Norm, how come you're late?
Norm: Ah, the boss kept me after. I got chewed out a little bit.
Coach: Yeah? What for?
Norm: I don't know. Guess he doesn't have a dog.

Ed: Hey. Hey, I know you. Uh... What's your name?
Sam: Sam Malone.
Ed: Yeah, that's it.
Sam: Yeah, I usually get it right.
Ed: Hey, you used to be a relief pitcher for the Boston Red Sox, huh?
Sam: That's right.
Ed: Hey, you didn't stink.
Sam: Thanks.