Carla: If you're a spy then how come you are sitting with your back to the door?
Eric Finch: Because I can see the door reflected in your beautiful eyes.
Carla: That old line.

Cliff: Uh... [clears throat] Excuse me. Uh, Carla here, she inadvertently blew your cover.
Carla: Oh, boy!
Cliff: So, I understand you're in the spy game?
Coach: Yes, sir, what's it like to be a spy?
Cliff: We swear not a word you say will ever go beyond this room.
Norm: We never go beyond this room.

Eric Finch: Can I really trust you chaps?
Cliff: Oh, yeah, sure. Everybody swear.
Carla: We swear.
Cliff: Cross my heart.
Eric Finch: All right. What you've got to understand, is that we're not all like how we're portrayed in the cinema. No, we don't think we're heroes, we're just doing a job, putting our lives on the line for democracy.
Cliff: Tell us about your most hair-raising mission, huh?
Norm: You ever get betrayed in the sack by a Russian babe?
Eric Finch: Let me tell you about Russian women. The cold weather makes them very passionate.
Norm: Lake Winnemucca, here I come.

Eric Finch: You asked me about my most exciting adventure. I think of Romania, 1973. Yes. I was captured by the dreaded RPB.
Carla: [gasps]
Cliff: Ooh, the Ripba.
Eric Finch: They're every bit as fiendish as you've heard. They even used the infamous twister on me. The devils.
Norm: Oh, what's the twister?
Diane: It's a ride at Coney Island.
Coach: Those animals.

Carla: Why did you lie to us?
Eric Finch: Because... my life is very unexciting and it's very dull. I've been a failure at everything I've tried to do. But, you know, sometimes late at night in a friendly bar... I sometimes can make someone believe that I'm interesting. But you're much too smart for me. You don't need any illusions. Good night, miss. [exits]
Diane: Before you say anything, I want you to know that I could not feel any worse than I do right now.
Eric Finch: [returns] I'm so sorry. I forgot the tip. Merry Christmas. [exits]
Diane: Wrong again.

Carla: His name is Eric Finch.
Diane: All right, I'll do it. I am going to comb this city. I'll look everywhere, every hotel, restaurant, every cheap dive. I'm going to find this man or die trying.
[As Diane walks out, she passes Eric Finch who is entering the bar]
Diane: Excuse me. [turns around] Look who's back!

Eric Finch: Look, I just came back to try and explain to you why I did what I did.
All: No.
Coach: Mr. Finch, come on, will you? Everybody in the bar exaggerates a little.
Norm: Sure. For example, I'm not really this good-looking.
Sam: Come on, everybody in bars tells stories. You just got a little carried away. That's all.
Diane: That's right.
Eric Finch: I'm afraid I'm the victim of an overactive imagination. You see, when you spend 12 hours a day in a room alone writing, writing, writing... Sometimes you just lose touch with reality. So I'm awfully sorry and I beg your pardon and good night.
Diane: No, no, no. You write?
Eric Finch: Yes. Mostly verse. Farewell.
Diane: Wait. You write poetry? I'd love to hear some. We all would.

Diane: At any rate, I would love to see some of your work.
Eric Finch: Well, I just don't have anything with me at the moment. See, it's all in here and here.
Diane: I must hear one.
Eric Finch: Really?
Diane: Yes.
Eric Finch: All right. Well, I'll try something. How did it go? "She I love, alas in vain, Floats before my slumbering eyes; And when she comes, she lulls my pain; And when she goes, what pangs arise."
Diane: My God, that's lovely.
Cliff: Hey, I liked it. What do you think there, Sir Norm?
Norm: Oh, It'll look great up there on the tiles.

Diane: [on the phone] May I speak to him? This is Diane Chambers. He's chatting with John Updike? Well, interrupt. No, I'm not kidding. I have something that is going to make John Updike seem like pretty small pommes de terre.
Sam: Uh, Diane, I wouldn't do this if I were you.
Diane: Yes, I'll wait. [to Sam] Would you leave me alone, please?

Diane: Mr. Finch, he really should hear this directly from you. Would you come over, please. What is your best work?
Eric Finch: Well, there's a little something that I dashed off this morning that I'm proud of.
Diane: Wonderful. [on the phone] Hello, my name is Diane Chambers. Yes, I know you're very busy, but I have a wonderful surprise for you. Please would you just listen for a moment.
Norm: Verse alert, Cliffy, strap yourself in, pal.
Cliff: Uh-oh. Dive, dive.