Sam: Okay, so this button's the "on-off" button. This, uh, this button here makes it louder or softer. And these two buttons right here make everything bluer or greener. Those two are my favorites. Have a ball there. [to Woody] Poor kid. Probably don't let him watch enough TV at home.
Woody: Yeah. It's a wonder why some people even have kids.

Norm: What are you? What are you telling me? That this camera doesn't... That this camera is useless? These people paid us good money, Cliff. What are we going to do?!
Cliff: Relax, will you, Norm. We'll... We'll figure out some kind of a plan.
Norm: Well, you'd better come up with something.
Cliff: All right, here. Here's what we'll do.
Norm: All right.
Cliff: We'll just carry on and film as though nothing's wrong. We'll pretend the camera's working. Then in a couple of days when they call us for the film, we'll say, "We dropped it in the mail. It must have gotten lost." All right? We got the 50 bucks, nobody's the wiser.
Norm: Great, great, as long as you have a plan.

Sam: So I guess, Freddy, uh, you know what they're saying is that wherever the baby bunny goes, the mommy bunny is... is there waiting for him to take care of him. I guess l, uh, must have touched my eye with some of that, uh, salt from the peanuts.
Woody: [crying] Me, too.

Frasier: So you're, uh, Shauna's family. You know, when Shauna invited me for dinner, she didn't mention that we'd be having dinner with her whole family. [chuckles] Interestingly enough, many young people today are choosing to move back in with their parents. We call it the, uh, "Full Nest Syndrome."
Father: It wasn't her choice.
Mother: Well, Shauna's made some bad decisions. She's not real good on responsibility.
Frasier: Well, I must say that she, uh, she handled herself quite well this week at my office.
Shauna: Thank you, Dr. Crane. See?!
Father: Oh, yeah, Doctor, I forgot I was getting a professional opinion. Where did you go to school?
Frasier: Harvard.
Father: Well, la-di-da. And is this what they taught you at Harvard? How to take advantage of my daughter?
Frasier: Sir, I am not taking advantage. I was merely invited for an innocent little dinner.
Father: Oh? Just "an innocent little dinner"? Mind if I check your wallet?
Frasier: There's no need for that!

Frasier: So, what's new?
Sam: Got a message for you here, Fras. Yeah, here we go. Shauna called you. [patrons hoot]
Frasier: Now, settle down, class. Shauna is my secretary. [all hooting] My temporary secretary. She's all of 21 years old, for God's sake. [all hooting]
Sam: Come on, stop it, you guys. Have a little class, will you? So you going to try and bag her?
Frasier: No, I am not. Although it's not entirely out of the realm of reality. It does seem that the lass has a a thing, for Dr. Crane.
Sam: [chuckles] Good for you.
Frasier: Well, I mean, after all, it's not so hard to believe. I've been keeping myself in pretty good shape. You know, I've been Nordic Tracking it every night.

Shauna: Hi, Dr. Crane.
Frasier: Oh, hello, Shauna. [patrons hoot softly]
Shauna: You, uh, left some papers on your desk, and they looked important, so I thought I'd bring them over.
Frasier: Well, you didn't really... I mean, these weren't that important. There's no need... Uh, these could have waited.
Shauna: Oh, I- I don't mind. I- I wasn't doing anything anyway, and besides, it gives me a chance to see you outside of the office. I think you look even better in here.
Frasier: Yes, uh, dank basements flatter me. [Shauna laughs]

Frasier: Well, perhaps in a few days maybe.
Sam: No, come on, do it now. Ask her right this sec I tell you, if you don't, I'm gonna ask her out. You got one minute on the old Sammy clock.
Frasier: All right, by George, I'll do it right this minute.
Sam: Attaboy.
Frasier: Frasier Crane is back in the game. [laughs]
Shauna: No messages.
Frasier: Uh, Shauna, uh, what you were saying before, uh, about our seeing each other, um... Well, uh, to put it this way, uh, about, you know, you and me, uh...
Sam: You got about 30 seconds.

Frasier: Listen, I can't thank you enough for volunteering to fill in when the babysitter cancelled. I mean, if you hadn't offered, I wouldn't be able to see Sauna tonight. I mean, I mean Shauna. Wow, boy, there's a slip for you! [Frasier and Sam laugh]

Frasier: Oh, and, uh, one other thing I need to discuss with you. Very important, uh, in, uh, private. Could you just join me in the men's room?
Sam: In the men's room? That's a little weird, isn't it?
Frasier: Oh, Sam, get your head out of the seventh grade for God's sake! We're just two men having a private conversation.
Sam: All right, okay.
Frasier: Well, don't go in with me! How would that look?!

Sam: Come on, man. I got a party out here!
Frasier: All right, Sam, please. This is very important. [Sam enters the bathroom] What do you think?
Sam: Oh, it's super.
Frasier: Really?
Sam: Oh, you're ser? Oh, I'm no, I'm sorry. No, uh oh, I can't lie to you, man. This is just, uh... Well, it's... It's not you.
Frasier: Damn, you know It looked so good on the Styrofoam head.