Diane: I have a question.
Sam: What? What are you--?
Phil Schumacher: Excuse me. What paper do you represent?
Diane: Hurley's Market Shopper's Guide.
Phil Schumacher: Uh, I'm afraid this is for newspaper reporters only.
Diane: Oh, I'm sorry. I thought this was America.
Janet Eldridge: No, no, Phil, it's okay. Hello again, Miss Chambers.
Diane: Hello, and thank you. Councillor, on the less political side, there seems to be a lot of interest in the two of you. Mr. Malone, would you care to comment on your plans for the future?
Sam: Yeah, I thought we'd grab a pizza, then try to catch a movie on the tube later on.
Diane: How delightful. But let me be a little more specific. The hottest topic in town is whether or not there are wedding bells in Sam and Janet's future. Can you confirm or deny these rumors? Why don't you give us a scoop.
Janet Eldridge: I'm sure there are more important issues to be discussed in this forum than that, Miss Chambers.

Reporter #1: What do you have to say about this marriage business, Sam?
Sam: Oh, well, gee, l... I don't know if..
Janet Eldridge: Gentlemen, I don't really think this is the time or the place-
Sam: No, wait, wait. Actually, I'll... I will handle this. Sweetheart. You know, fellas, I think we're jumping the gun a little bit here. I mean, we've only known each other about four months, so...
Diane: Really? By my calculations, it's only six weeks.
Sam: Whatever.
Diane: Perhaps it just seems longer.
Janet Eldridge: Next question, please.
Reporter #2: Councillor, do you agree with Mr Malone that the relationship seems to be dragging on?
Sam: Yeah, I... I know what you're trying to do here, Diane. I mean, how dumb do you think I am?
Diane: Oh, I believe we're supposed to ask the questions. Janet, how dumb do you think Sam is?

Sam: All right, that's it! You see that? She just squirted me! She has a little yellow squirt-
Janet Eldridge: Sam, will you stop this?
Sam: Yeah, all right. I'll stop it. I'm all right. Yeah, I'm gonna escort this woman out of my bar forever.
Diane: Very well. I'll leave. And I never want to see your fat, ugly face again.
Sam: You're about to see my fat, ugly fist, I'll tell you that.
Diane: I'm shaking in my boots.
[As Sam closes the door on Diane, she grabs his tie]
Sam: My tie.
Diane: Going up.
[After Sam finally removes his tie, Diane waves goodbye]
Sam: [pained voice] I believe the gentleman from The Globe had a question.

Norm: Well, I certainly have to hand it to you, Sammy. You throw one helluva press conference.
Carla: I haven't seen such an ugly scene since my kids' school picture.

Janet Eldridge: I just got off the phone with the last newspaper. I'm not sure how much damage was done.
Sam: What'd you say?
Janet Eldridge: I told them you took some sinus medication and had an allergic reaction.
Sam: They buy it?
Janet Eldridge: Not unless there's something else you can put in a crock.
Sam: Oh, come on. I know it was a bit unpleasant earlier tonight, but, I mean, when you look back on it, you can't help but laugh. [Kate glares at Sam] Unless you try really hard. Oh, come on. Now, there's a grin in there. Come on. Now, that'll turn into a smile. All right, there you go. Come on, I'm sorry.
Janet Eldridge: How the hell did I ever get into this mess? I'm crazy about a guy who's the worst thing in the world for me. We can't go on like this, Sam. You have no regard for my career. And what's worse, you have no regard for me. You lied when you said you had no feelings for Diane. You obviously have very strong feelings.
Sam: No, no, come on, please. That--
Janet Eldridge: No, Sam, face it. You're trying to leave every option open, and you just can't do that. You have to make some choices and some commitments. It's called growing up.

Carla: You okay?
Sam: I don't know, Carla. I think I screwed up my life here. I mean, look at me. I'm pushing 40, and what have I got to show for it? Maybe it's time I settle down, huh? Maybe the time's right for Mayday to get married.
Carla: The answer is yes. You didn't ask a question, did you? Listen, Sam, when the right dame comes along, you'll know it.
Sam: Well, that's what I'm afraid of. I think she did, and I let her go.
Carla: No. She didn't come along yet. Casabas are your destiny, Sam. Hold out.