Carla: Whoa, Sammy. Your brother is one good-looking guy. Did you ever hear Derek say anything about being a sucker for swarthy, fertile, Mediterranean types?
Sam: Afraid not, Carla.
Carla: Figured. Let me have a couple of Heinekens and a couple of Lowenbraus. So, how come your brother has beautiful curly blond hair and deep blue eyes?
Sam: Oh, are they blue?
Carla: Like Windex.

Carla: Boy, sounds like the stick lady's having a good time, doesn't it?
Sam: Is that Diane's laugh? I thought they were killing chickens back there.
Carla: Yeah, you know he really got to her when he told her about that time in Paris when he got drunk with Anaïs Nin.
Sam: Wow. Really?
Carla: I was hoping you'd know.

Carla: Well, you know just a few weeks ago, you were making time with every foxy lady in Boston, on your way to legendary status. I mean, Sammy, you were heading for the Hounds Hall of Fame. Then Lady Fishface walked in the door. What's going on here?
Sam: Oh, I don't know, Carla. It's driving me nuts. Maybe she's playing hard-to-get. But hard-to-get for me used to mean I'd have to sit through dinner.
Carla: Yeah. Well, if you can't get to her, no one can.

Sam: What's your order?
Diane: Oh, Sam, he's not that great. The man can tell an interesting story, he's met a few interesting people, but he's just a man like any other man you'd meet in Greek mythology.

Sam: You were about to tell me something.
Diane: Oh, well, Derek just wants to fly me out to Martha's Vineyard tonight.
Sam: In a plane or on his back?

Sam: Listen, I think you and Derek will make a great match.
Diane: Really?
Sam: Yeah. You both think you're perfect, and one of you is right.

Coach: Sam, what do you say we go to the Combat Zone and see a girlie show?
Sam: No, I've got a date, Coach.
Coach: Well, maybe I'll go alone, huh?
Sam: Uh, Coach, I'd rather you didn't. It's kind of a tough neighborhood and I think you need some protection.
Coach: Gee, you're right, Sam. What do you say, Carla?
Carla: Nah, not tonight, Coach.
Coach: Oh, well, maybe some other time.