Sam: Let's huddle up here, fellas. Listen, we got to remember something here now. We can no longer think of ourselves as three individuals. We are three parts of the same machine working together. Three people with one single purpose.
Carla: Not to drown.
Sam: All right. All right. Two single purposes... Not to drown and win the race.
Norm: OK, what about getting all wet and sick?
Sam: All right. Three single purposes.
Carla: How about buying the bar back?
Sam: Four. Does anyone have a piece of paper here?

Frasier: [on the phone] Oh, no, Lilith. No, you're mistaken. You did not give me $500. I mean, how would I forget a thing like that? Well, did you look under all the sofa cushions? How about behind your dresser? Yes, well, well, keep on looking. [hangs up] Maybe it's in your web.

Commentator: [on TV] Rounding the first buoy, Orion's leading. Mickey G is second, and blue horizon a close third. Rebecca's trailing dead last.
Frasier: Come on, Sammy! Baby needs a bachelor of arts degree!
Cliff: Ah, don't worry there, Fras. Sammy's an experienced sailor. Oh, yeah, once he whips Carla and Norm into an experienced, efficient crew, he's gonna have that baby sailing like a Swiss watch.
Frasier: So you're telling me I can kiss my $500 goodbye.
Cliff: Pucker up, baby.

Sam: All right, guys, stand by! Stand by on the mainsail! Stand by to come about! Hey, come on, guys. What are you doing?
Norm: Standing by the cooler. Can I get you anything, Sam?
Sam: Come on, this is your chance to win back Sammy's bar here. Come on, Sam, we've lost the race, gotten sick, made fools of ourselves. I say it's Miller Time, pal.
Carla: Yeah.
Sam: Hey, what is that, quitter's talk?
Carla: If it's not, we'll think of some more.

Carla: How about another beer, Norm?
Norm: Yeah, coming up. Uh-oh. That's it for the cheap stuff. See if Colcord keeps anything in his fridge.
Carla: Oh, yeah. Break it out.
Norm: Bingo. All right. Why would Colcord keep a digital clock in his refrigerator?
Carla: That's weird.
Norm: Yeah. It has all these wires coming out of it. And it's going backwards, too.
Carla: Does it have a snooze button?
Norm: No, it just has this thing marked detonator.
Both: Uh-oh. Sam!

Sam: What? I can't keep coming down here every 2 seconds! Come on, guys, you should be up there.
Norm: We're all gonna be up there in a second, Sam. Over here, over there, everywhere. We're gonna be chum, pal.
Sam: What are you talking about?
Carla: There's a bomb in the fridge.
Sam: What? [goes to open the fridge]
Carla: Oh, no!
Sam: OK, OK. [opens the fridge] Oh, boy. Well, maybe it's, uh... One of those devices to keep you from raiding the refrigerator, huh?
Norm: No. Trust me, Sammy. I've seen them all.

Sam: OK, looks like we got about 28 minutes there. Let's not panic. Let go. Don't touch me. All right, OK, we'll just, uh, we'll call the Coast Guard is what we'll do here. They'll know what to do. All right, just don't panic here, don't panic. Panic's our worst enemy.
Norm: Yeah, well, this bomb is a close second, Sammy.
Sam: Mayday, Mayday. Damn, the thing doesn't seem to be working here.
Carla: Oh, God.
Sam: Mayday... [components all fall out]
Norm: OK, well, there's your problem there, Sammy.

Carla: Oh, hold it. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. How about this... If one of us is willing to go overboard and create a diversion for the sharks, then maybe Sammy and I could swim to safety.
Norm: I never liked you, Carla.

Norm: Better call Vera, I suppose.
Sam: Oh, I'll bet she's worried sick.
Norm: Yeah, I tell you, if I act upset enough, I might be able to parlay this into a poker weekend.

Sam: I'll tell you something, why don't you just take your checkbook and drop it down your bauxite mine. You know, my life's worth more than money.
Robin: Sam, if you're trying to haggle...
Sam: No, I'm not. I don't want your money, OK? I just want a little simple apology and a little concern for all of us.
Robin: OK, uh, I'm sorry. How are you?
Carla: OK.
Norm: Not too bad.
Robin: Yes, well, I'm off.