Carla: Hey, guys, did I miss anything?
Norm: Sam hasn't started yet.
Carla: Oh.
Norm: Where you been?
Carla: Oh, I've been visiting the other team. I ran into somebody I used to get hot and sweaty with.
Norm: Who's that?
Carla: The other team.

Frasier: Two grown men settling a rivalry by throwing a little white ball at a wooden stick. How pathetic. Now, boxing that's a man's sport. Punch a guy in the face and scramble his brains. That proves something.
Norm: Fras, you're coming around, buddy.
Frasier: Thank you.

Frasier: Oh, boy, me and my big mouth. Why don't I just go down to the park and tell the little kids about Santa Claus?
Woody: What about Santa?

Sam: I don't think so, Cliffy.
Cliff: All right, Sammy. Come on, Spotty.
Sam: Bye-bye, Spotty.
Woman #1: Oh, how cute.
Woman #2: Hi, little fellow. Ah. What's his name?
Sam: Well, this is, this is Spotty, huh? Isn't he cute? Yeah, he's kind of like the-the bar mascot. Hey, you know, he and I are about to take a bath. Would you like to join us?

Woody: Hey, Mr. Clavin, if you're looking for a home for the dog there, I'd be happy to take him.
Cliff: Ah, no, Woody. You see, Spotty here is a thoroughbred puppy. Needs a lot of attention, a lot of care, needs a lot of space.
Woody: I'll give you five bucks for him.
Cliff: Here you go.

Sam: Hello. Any messages?
Carla: Oh, yeah. One of your old baseball buddies called, Dutch Kincaid.
Sam: I'll be damned. Wonder what he wants?
Norm: Probably another home run. I think you served him up something like 27 in his career. What did that work out to, Sam? Oh, yeah, uh, one for every time he faced you.
Sam: That was a long time ago.
Norm: Yeah.
Sam: Poor guy's probably down and out, wants to borrow a few bucks from me.
Carla: No. He wants you to show up for Dutch Kincaid Day at Yankee Stadium.
Sam: They're having a Dutch Kincaid Day at Yankee Stadium?
Carla: Yeah. They're bringing him back for one more time at bat before the game. He wants you to pitch to him.
Norm: Smart guy, that Dutch.

Sam: He's gotta be kidding. Why the hell should I want to help him? l, I'm gonna get on a plane and fly down to New York just to give him some free publicity?
Carla: What are you worried about? You afraid he's gonna pop one out and you're going to have to see the old Dutch Windmill again?
Rebecca: What is the Dutch Windmill?
Norm: Oh, every time Dutch hit a homer, he used to do this little dance while he ran around the bases. It's kind of his trademark.
Cliff: Yeah, if memory serves, it was something like this. He'd have that left arm pumping, and the right arm like a windmill, and wiggle his fanny back and forth.
Norm: No, no, no, more like this.
Carla: No, Norm, less jiggle.
Norm: I haven't started dancing yet.

Sam: Hello, Dutch.
Dutch Kincaid: Mayday.
Sam: What are you doing here?
Dutch Kincaid: I hear you're too chicken to pitch to me, Fluffy. What's the matter, afraid I'll make you look bad again?
Sam: I'm not afraid of anything, Dutch. And I don't have anything to prove, either.
Dutch Kincaid: Hey, you know, Malone, if word gets out that you're pitching to me again, it might give the guy the kind of publicity that would put him back in the public eye. Maybe even in the Hall of Fame.
Sam: Oh, get out. I could never get into the Hall of Fame.
Dutch Kincaid: Not you, you pantywaist. It's Dutch Kincaid Day, not Sam Malone Day. Man, what an ego.
Sam: Find yourself another sucker, will you?
Dutch Kincaid: Okay. Have you got a men's room in here? Oh, what am I asking you for?
Carla: It's in the back.
Dutch Kincaid: Yeah, thanks. Oh, uh, I gave my neighbor's kid a Sam Malone baseball card to stick in his spokes of his bike. Now, when he rides it, it goes "wimp, wimp, wimp, wimp, wimp."

Carla: Come on, Sammy, let's go. It would be great to see you pitch again.
Sam: No way. I told him "no" and I meant it.
Carla: Come on, the guy is a jerk. You've got to nail him.
Sam: No.
Carla: Knock him down a few pegs.
Sam: No. No, no, no.
Carla: Oh, no. You're afraid he's still gonna be able to hit you.
Sam: Oh, are you kidding me? The guy's a washed-up old has-been. I mean, he hasn't played for years. I can strike him out with one hand tied behind my back.
Carla: Worth a try, Sammy. The other way never worked.
Sam: That was then, you know. Now I've got the edge on him. I'm young. You know, I'm in good shape. Aw, shoot. I've got to remember to warm up before I do that.

Carla: So why don't you just go out there and humiliate him for a change?
Norm: Yeah. Come on, Sammy.
Cliff: Yeah, Sammy.
Sam: Listen to yourselves, will ya? Have some class. The guy's an old man.
Frasier: Good for you, Sam. I'm impressed by your stand. It shows real maturity.
Sam: Yeah, well, it's gonna take a lot more than a stupid insult to get me to go all the way to New York.
Dutch Kincaid: I'll see you later, Underpants.
Sam: That does it! All right, I'll see you Saturday. Yankee Stadium.
Dutch Kincaid: That's the spirit. Listen, and don't worry about getting into the stadium. Saturday is Ladies Day. [does the "windmill" dance as he leaves]