Sam: Yeah, Norm is quite a guy, isn't he? You know, I don't think he had to sail to the South Pacific to make us admire and respect him.
Carla: He did for me.
Man: It was the only worthwhile thing he ever did in an otherwise wasted life.
Sam: Come on, come on. I'm serious. I mean, if Norm hadn't gone to Bora Bora, I don't think we would have thought any the less of him. Do you?
Cliff: You kidding? Of course we would.
Carla: Definitely.
Diane: Sam, what are you talking about?
Sam: Well, it's hypothetical. But just suppose that Norm had spent the last three weeks in a motel some place, and that he had sent those letters before he sailed and gave them to some fella to mail when he got to the islands, we wouldn't think any the less of him. Now would we?
Carla: That yellow belly is in your office, isn't he?
Sam: Now, don't be silly.
Carla: If he's not, he's not going to mind me doing this. [hits Sam's office door]
Norm: [opens door] Swell friends I have. That's the last you'll see of Norm Peterson.

Diane: A Bloody Mary for you. Vodka Collins, and an Old Fashioned, light on the bitters.
Carla: Oh, Diane, look, I think you got it perfect this time. Every drink wrong.
Man: My God, what is this?
Carla: Boy, does your waitressing stink!
Diane: My waitressing does not stink.
Carla: It does, too.
Diane: It doesn't.
Carla: Does.
Diane: If I really put my mind to it, I could waitress circles around you.
Carla: You stink!
Diane: I smell a wager, Carla.
Carla: No, you smell your waitressing.

Coach: Well, Carla, counting the ten buck head start you gave Diane, you're still ahead nine dollars. And you've got only one minute to go.
Carla: Yeah. But you know, Diane gave me a good contest. I mean, she hustled what passes for her buns off tonight.
Coach: Good. Then you're not going to rub her nose in it?
Carla: To the bone. [laughs]
Diane: [to a couple leaving] Thank you very much, and a happy fiftieth wedding anniversary to you both.
Carla: Fiftieth anniversary!
Sam: Yeah, they ordered a bottle of Dom Perignon.
Carla: I thought they were just a couple of cheap old coots!

Norm: Well, everybody, this is goodbye. I don't know what I can really say to you folks. You've been like family to me. I'm going to miss you all, that's for sure.
Sam: Oh, come on, man, this is nuts. I mean, people don't just drop everything and sail away to Bora Bora.
Norm: I do.
Coach: Goodbye, Normie.
Cliff: Coach. Coach, you'll feel pretty silly when he pulls the plug on this gag. You'll see.
Norm: You understand, don't you, Coach?
Coach: No, Normie, but they'll tell me later.

Carla: Hey, Norm, you better get used to what you're doing there, man. They got all-male crews on those ships.
Cliff: OK, Norm, joke's over. Knock it off. It's ended. Norm...
[Norm stops as he gets to the door. He turns back and sits down on the steps.]
Cliff: You kidder. Boy, you had us going there for a while.
Norm: Wingtips are for accountants, Cliffie. I'm a beachcomber now. [exits]
Cliff: Normie's gone.

Cliff: Let me see the old postmark there, Sammy. Yep, yep, she's valid, all right. Well, looks like our Normie made it to paradise, huh?

Diane: The things people do for their egos.
Sam: Yeah, cheating on a silly contest.
Diane: Well, I suppose I could go around the room explaining to everyone what happened, but I know that I did not cheat and that's enough. I'll just let it drop.
Sam: I'll be in my office if you need me, Coach.
Diane: [to customers] I did not cheat! We had this contest a couple of weeks ago...

Diane: I have never cheated on anything in my life. The integrity of Diane Chambers remains unblemished. [to another table] Excuse me, could we chat for just a second?