Cliff: Hey there, Eduardo, looks like you and Carla aren't the only lovebirds in town. Check out DeeDee and David there.
Eddie LeBec: Who?
Cliff: DeeDee and David Lefsowski, the Weekly Gabbers' odd couple of the month. See, she weighs in there at 480 pounds, and he tips the scales at a mere, uh, 92. But I mean, just look at the love in his eyes.
Norm: I think that's fear, Cliff.
Woody: Cute baby he's holding.
Cliff: That's her arm, Woody.
Woody: Cute arm he's holding.

Rebecca: Did you remember to get the cinnamon almond decaf?
Woody: Yeah, I did. Who likes that?
Rebecca: Evan does. Everyone does.
Woody: Excuse me, Miss Howe, I know it's none of my beeswax, but it seems to me like you're awfully nervous about Mr. Drake coming by today. Do you like him or something?
Rebecca: In a business sense, yes. I admire his skills and accomplishments.
Woody: You like him.

Rebecca: Carla, what are you doing here on your wedding day?
Carla: Oh, oh, actually I came by to get my last paycheck. See, the bridal shop has this policy about their wedding gowns: "Fork over the jack, or it stays on the rack." So where is it?
Rebecca: Oh, I'm so sorry that I don't have it ready for you right this very second. I guess I've just been busy putting up every single decoration and ordering all the hors d'oeuvres and getting a band together at the very last minute so that your reception could be just perfect for you.
Carla: Could you step on it? I'm in a hurry.

Cliff: Oh, hey, isn't that Eddie LeBec sashaying down those stairs, there, Doc?
Frasier: Sure looks like it.
Cliff: But Carla's here. Isn't there some superstition about the groom seeing the bride before the wedding?
[Eddie screams as he walks into the bar and sees Carla, who screams when she sees him]
Frasier: Nobody believes in that anymore.

Woody: Carla, it's for you.
Eddie LeBec: Go on. Go on, answer it.
Sam: Would you take it. Come on.
Carla: [on the phone] Hello. Oh, hi, Dr. Nadelson. How did my tests come out? You've got to be kidding. [hangs up]
Sam: What? What is it?
Carla: Twins. He spills the salt, he breaks the mirror, and I'm the one having twins. I told you something horrible was going to happen.
Eddie LeBec: What is so bad? Twins means we're twice blessed.
Sam: Yeah, I had twins once. It was the happiest day of my life.

Eddie LeBec: Carla. Carla, this is great.
Carla: Eddie. You're really happy about this?
Eddie LeBec: I'm the happiest man on Earth. Listen, Carla, you and me, we can we can overcome any obstacles that are in our way.
Carla: You're a great guy, Eddie. Dumb as a skate blade, but a great guy.

Anthony: Ma!
Carla: Oh, my baby's home!
Eddie LeBec: You see? I knew things would look up.
Carla: What's wrong?
Anthony: Ma, nothing. Everything's aces. It's just that, hey, when you called about getting remarried, I realized how much I love you. I just wanted to be with you on this day.
Carla: And? [grabs Anthony by the ears]
Anthony: Uh, and Dad's TV shop, it went under. We got evicted, and I can't get unemployment 'cause Daddy didn't declare me an employee.
Carla: Well, I'm just glad my little boy's here for my wedding.
Annie: What about his lovely wife?
Carla: I'm just glad my little boy's here for my wedding.

Annie: Actually, Mother Tortelli, we didn't want to return to Vegas. We don't think it's any place for children to grow up.
Carla: You're having a kid?
Annie: I'm talking about us. So, if we could find someone here in Boston with an nice house and lots of extra room... Do you know anyone like that, Mother Tortelli?
Carla: No, no, no. You don't want to come live in my little, tiny, overcrowded house.
Anthony: Ma, it's just temporary. Just till I get back on my feet. Hey, if it's a problem, we'll find someplace else to stay.
Annie: Yeah. I think I saw a nice cardboard box in the alley.
Carla: [to Eddie] See, see? What did I tell ya? This is the bad luck I've been warning you about.
Eddie LeBec: Carla, don't worry about it. I mean, the more the merrier. Look, I'm going to get a major salary bump this season, and then I'll buy us all the biggest house in Boston.
Carla: Wow. A new house?
Eddie LeBec: You bet. Now do you finally believe that nothing bad is going to happen?
Carla: No. I'll just have more closet space when it does.

Eddie LeBec: Anthony, I'm Eddie LeBec. I guess I'm your new stepfather. I'm hoping one day you'll call me "Dad."
Anthony: Hey, Nick Tortelli is my dad. You are not my father, and you never will be!
Carla: Anthony!
Anthony: You only knocked up my ma so she'd have to marry you. Ma, I'm sorry. The guy was asking for it. Come on, Annie, let's go.
Annie: Forgive him. He has the hot passion of his race, and I have the envy of every woman I know.

Carla: Well, this is it. This is the bad luck. I mean, what could be worse than my kid hating my husband?
Eddie LeBec: Look, it's okay. He's just a kid.
Carla: Oh, you don't get it, Eddie. He's the nicest one I got.
Eddie LeBec: Look, Carla, he's just being protective of his mother. I mean, God knows that I think my maman's the greatest woman on Earth. And I can only hope that our kids feel the same way.
Eddie LeBec: Are you from this planet?