Lewis: OK, Clavin, you know why I'm here. Who is it?
Cliff: Lewis, I've written a man's name on a piece of paper in this envelope.
Lewis: Well, good.
Cliff: But before you look at it, Lewis, let me tell you a little something about him.
Lewis: Hey, what is this, The Dating Game?
Cliff: Lewis, the man whose name is in this envelope bears no animosity towards you or any living thing. He's a man who loves his country and what he did was out of a sense of duty towards America, God and all that we cherish. [Lewis grabs the envelope] Ah, one other thing, Lewis. The man who did this is terribly, terribly sorry. Please forgive him.
Lewis: Well, okay. I've got another job anyway. Besides, if I were to see that name, I'd get so angry I might do something stupid.
Carla: Oh, go on. Open it.
Cliff: Lewis, I can't tell you how proud I am to see how you overcome your need for vengeance.
Lewis: Hey, tell that fellow he's real lucky he's still in one piece.
Cliff: He knows it, Lewis.
Lewis: You'd better.

Norm: Cliffie, Cliffie. You really showed me something there. Yeah, that was more than just stupidity. I think there was a trace of bravery in there.
Coach: Way to go, Cliff.
Cliff: Oh, well, thanks guys.
Carla: All right, who's Juan Torrez?
Cliff: [spits out his beer] Oh, there must be some mistake there, Carla.
Carla: No, there's no mistake. There's a map to his house here.
Cliff: All right, look, I knew he wasn't going to look in that thing. Besides, he knows it was me, huh? So what's the big deal? Lewis would never hit him. Juan's in a body cast. He fell out of a window a couple of weeks ago.

Sam: Come on. Why don't you stop this silly little game and admit that you're still crazy about me?
Diane: You're the one who always brings it up. If anybody's crazy about anybody, you're crazy about me.
Sam: Oh, yeah? I'm not saying "Sam" when I'm in bed with Frasier.
[Diane picks up a lamp and instantly places it back down. She walks over to the door and turns the handle, but instantly walks back. She picks up the telephone, starts to dial a number and then hangs up. She grabs Sam by the collar, but then lets him go. She goes over and sits down on the couch.]
Diane: I'll kill him! I'll kill you! Then I'll kill myself.
Sam: Oh, now, come on, you're overreacting. There's no need to kill me.

Frasier: Hello.
Diane: Hello, your buttocks! Get in here!
Frasier: Diane, you seem agitated.
Diane: I don't know which of you I hate the most.
Sam: Hey, that's not bad, Frasier. Only two months and you're tied with me.
Diane: How could you tell him? Why did you tell him?
Frasier: I didn't tell him. He must have deduced it.
Diane: Oh, please.
Sam: Hey, come on, I'm good at deducement.

Frasier: Diane, Sam, please. Let's not go on this way. I mean, now that this thing is out in the open, let's at least face it honestly and admit the truth.
Diane: What are you talking about?
Frasier: There's still a spark between you two. I think it's best that I just step aside and allow it to either ignite or extinguish itself.
Diane: Frasier, look into my eyes. You are the man in my life. There is no longer anything between Sam and l. And you'll see the same thing in his eyes.
[Frasier walks over and tries to gaze into Sam's eyes as he avoids making eye contact]
Sam: Uh, can't I just tell him?
Diane: Do it, Sam.
Sam: Frasier, there's nothing going on between us. I mean, it's all over between me and Diane.
Frasier: I believe you.
Diane: Oh, Frasier, thank God! How could you have doubted me for a moment?
Frasier: I don't know. I really haven't been myself these last few days.

Sam: Uh, say, excuse me, folks. She gets a little upset still, ever since I dumped her. Let me handle this for you. Coach! Make this gentleman the driest martini in town, will you? On the house.
Coach: Right.
Carla: Please, forgive her. She's a hot-head, little firebrand. Half my day is spent apologizing to nice customers like you.
Diane: Carla, I'm in no mood.
Carla: Now, now, we're talking about someone else, dear.

Carla: What can I say, Eddie? I just remembered, this isn't my night off after all. We're going to have to cut this lovely evening short.
Eddie: Gee, I wish you would have said something sooner.
Carla: Well I mentioned it over dinner. You just didn't hear me over the oompah-pah band and the noise that you make when you chew bratwurst.
Eddie: But Carla, I've been looking forward to this date for a long time. These tickets to the RV show weren't easy to get.
Carla: Please, Eddie. I'm torn up enough. Coach?
Coach: What?
Carla: You like RVs, mobile homes, that kind of stuff?
Coach: Well, I don't know that much about them.
Carla: Would you like to learn?
Coach: Well, I was meaning to.
Carla: Coach, meet Eddie. Eddie. Coach.
Coach: Hi, Eddie.
Carla: He's got an extra ticket to the RV show for tonight, Coach. How's that sound?
Coach: Terrific.
Carla: Well, great, I'll cover for you.
Coach: Hot dog!
Carla: Oh, some luck, huh Eddie?
Eddie: Well, I guess I'm not going to get a good night kiss.
Carla: You might if you're nice to him.
Coach: Boy, I can't wait to get there. Eddie, you they actually let you walk through those things?
Eddie: Yeah, but you got to take your shoes off.
Coach: Oh, okay.
Eddie: Not now.

Diane: Jerk.
Sam: Yeah?
Diane: For once it's not you. Mr. Fancy Bottom over there feels his martini isn't dry enough.
Sam: Oh, well, do you want me to kill him for you, Diane?
Diane: It's too good for him.
Sam: Hey, come on, lighten up here. This is a bar, you know. People come here to have a good time.
Diane: Yeah, and don't you just hate them for it?

Diane: I hope you'll find that to your satisfaction. We here at Cheers aspire to make every customer a happy customer.
Man: It's still not dry enough.
Diane: Drink it!

Cliff: Diane, I've got a little problem here.
Diane: Who doesn't?
Cliff: Valid, valid.