Kelly: Oh, I am so sorry Nash did this. He has such a ridiculous temper. If there's anything I can do, please, don't hesitate to ask.
Woody: Are your hands just naturally this soft, or you use a special lotion?
Kelly: Lotion, but you can't buy it in the States.
Woody: Smells good, too.
Kelly: No, it's fragrance free. You smell my hair. I rinse it in an essence of Belgian wild flowers.
Woody: They make a boy's version?
Kelly: I'll have my personal shopper check and send you a case. I feel just terrible about what Nash did. It'd be a shame if you got a scar on that cute face.
Woody: I'll be okay.
Kelly: Okay. Bye.

Mr. Gaines: Nash, it seems Mr. Boyd here has his eye on Kelly.
Nash: Oh, what a coincidence. Only yesterday, he had his eye on my Topsiders.
Mr. Gaines: Come on, son. We're on the tee in ten minutes.
Woody: That sounds good, but I have to warn you, I've never played before.
Nash: He's talking to me, Gomer.
Mr. Gaines: You'll show yourself out?
[Woody gestures to Mr. Gaines to make sure he's referring to him]
Nash: Well, you better get going, Boyd. You're going to be late for that bus.
Woody: A lot you know. It doesn't come around for another 15 minutes.

Woody: Well, I better be going, too. Wait a minute. I heard your dad's answer and I heard Nash's answer, but I still haven't heard your answer yet.
Kelly: Oh, gosh, Woody, I couldn't.
Woody: I understand.
Kelly: Wait a minute. Why not? I'm not Nash's property, and I just hate it when he always assumes that I am. Well, beans, this'll show him!
Woody: Aw, that's great. That is terrific. All right. I'll pick you up tomorrow at 8:00, okay? Now, I promise you you're going to have the best time possible. You may think from looking at me, that I'm an unsophisticated guy who doesn't know his way around, but you're going to find out I do, okay? I'll see ya. [exits]
Kelly: Woody?
Woody: [o.s.] Yes?
Kelly: Do you know you're in a closet?
Woody: [opens door] Yeah, but I thought it might be more sophisticated just to lay low and then sneak out after everyone went to bed. [closes door]
Kelly: Good night.
Woody: [o.s.] Good night.

Rebecca: Sam, has Woody come back from his date yet?
Sam: Uh-uh.
Rebecca: I changed his schedule around so he can all of his evenings off so he can continue to date that lovely young woman.
Sam: Wait a minute, now you want him to date? I mean, what happened to the Attack of the Screaming Boss Lady from Hell?
Rebecca: Now I will admit that I didn't want him to ask her out originally, but let's face it, he's on a date with her. And the more they date, the more of a chance he has to become the boss's son-in-law. And boss's sons-in-law become VP's and in the corporate world, it always helps to have a VP in your corner.
Sam: That's disgusting.
Rebecca: Sam, I don't make up the rules. I just follow them.

Sam: Woody, come on, man. Go get her.
Woody: I can't, Sam. What could I possibly say to her?
Sam: Just say, "l like you. Will you go out with me again?"
Woody: Oh, right, just like that. And she's going to dump her rich boyfriend who she's been seeing for all these years, for poor, old, nobody Woody. I'm afraid the real world doesn't work like that, Sam; trust me.
Sam: No, Woody, come on. Hey, listen, just do me a favor: Go get her. Now, if it doesn't work out, I'll buy you dinner. If it does, you owe me. Just go out there. Say, "l like you, will you go out with me again?" Come on, before it's too late, go get her.
Woody: I'll give it a try, Sam. [passes Kelly on his way out] Excuse me. [returns] Kelly, uh... I like you. Will you go out with me again?
Kelly: Sure.
Woody: Oh, great, great. Well, we can't do it tonight. I've got to take Sam out.
Oh, no, no. It's okay, we can go out now. Uh, yeah, I have a standing reservation at Pizza by the Yard. Oh, wait a minute. What about Nash?
Kelly: Well, I was getting in the car with him when I realized Woody, I have a lot more fun with you.
Woody: Ah, yeah, I know what you mean. I didn't have much fun with Nash, either.

Man: Well, here's to you, Malone. And, uh, I wish you lots of luck on that triple bypass.
Sam: Thank you. Bless your heart.
Woody: You having a heart problem, Sam?
Sam: Yeah, it feels like there's something pressing on it. Maybe like all this cash.

Nash: Excuse me, uh, bartender. Can I give you a little tip?
Woody: Looking good, Sam. Sure.
Nash: For the rest of the afternoon, just keep your mouth shut.
Woody: Excuse me?
Nash: You're here to work, not to chitchat with the guests.
Woody: You think just because you're rich you can boss people around? We've got guys like you back in Hanover. You know what we call them?
Nash: What?
Woody: "Sir." But after we say it, we roll our eyes.
Nash: You know, kid, you're really starting to annoy me. I think I'm going to teach you some manners. Step outside.
Woody: Uh, uh, I'm sorry, all right? I was out of line. I don't want to fight.
Nash: Oh, you're not as stupid as you look.
Woody: Now I want to fight.

Rebecca: Excuse me, please. Excuse me.
Sam: Yeah?
Rebecca: Sam, I heard what you've been doing. Going around giving everyone a hard luck story, so they give you big tips. I find that completely unprofessional, and I will not condone it. I'm going to dock you a day's pay.
Sam: [to the guests] Did you hear that?

Nash: Okay, Boyd, I'm here.
Woody: Yeah, so am l. Course, I'm always here, so it's no big deal.
Nash: You know, I wouldn't feel right beating you senseless, unless I warn you in advance, I was on the boxing team at Princeton.
Woody: Yeah? Well, while you're beating me senseless, keep this in mind: I was first alternate on the Hanover High Boxing Squad.
Nash: What is that supposed to mean?
Woody: It means if anybody got sick or hurt, I'd be the one...
Nash: No! I mean, is that supposed to make you a tough guy?
Woody: Tough enough.
Nash: Yeah, well, proof is in the pudding.
Woody: All right, that does it. Nobody says that to me. Who wants to see a rich boy get his butt whupped?

Woody: We Boyds don't appreciate having our faces caved in.
Sam: Yeah?
Woody: I'm gonna get that guy.
Norm: Calm down, Woody. Isn't it enough that you left little bits of face in his pinkie ring?
Cliff: [laughs] And your nose really messed up his shoeshine when you fell.