Sam: Oh, whoa, whoa, wait a second here. What makes you think my customers want your rotten fish?
Norm: W-W-W-Wait, Sammy, wa-wa-wait now. Uh... Let's just say, Mr. Hill, that this, this fish has spoiled. Uh, what would happen to us?
John: Oh, you could suffer a variety of symptoms ranging from nausea to death.
Norm: Two bucks, you say? [John nods] Fair enough.

Norm: Well, bad news, boys. No fish fry at Melville's. Apparently, John Hill had a heart attack.
Paul: Oh, really?
Rebecca: Oh, my God, that's terrible.
Norm: Relax, Rebecca, there'll be other fish fries. It's okay. Let's look at the long view here.

Carla: Hi, everybody.
Rebecca: Carla, what are you doing here?
Carla: Living my lifelong dream, fulfilling all my fantasies. I'm a cocktail waitress. What do you think I'm doing here?!

John: Perhaps the diuretic is making me sentimental, but, uh... What do you suppose would happen if we were foolhardy enough to attempt to take our relationship to the next plateau?Hypothetically, of course.
Carla: Yeah, well, I have thought about that a little bit. I'm not proud of it, but I've thought of it.
John: After all, we have eight celibate weeks in which to get to know each other better.
Carla: Okay, I'm game.
John: Uh, so, uh, Miss Tortelli.
Carla: Carla.
John: Oh, Carla! Carla... that's a pretty name.
Carla: Thank you.
John: So, uh, you, uh, you have any children?
Carla: ... No. So, uh, what's it like running a restaurant?
John: Well, you know, a lot of work, but, uh, very rewarding.
Carla: Oh, that's good. I mean that it's rewarding. Because there are a lot of jobs that aren't rewarding, and it's good that you found a job that is rewarding.

Sam: [on the phone] Hello, yes, I want to inquire about the status of one of your patients, Mr. John Allen Hill. Oh, thank you. That's great news. Oh, thanks very much. [hangs up] Whoa, thank God.
Woody: Dead, Sam?
Sam: No, he's not dead. He's in stable condition. That's a terrible thing to say, Woody.
Woody: You're always acting like you don't like him.
Sam: That doesn't mean I wish he were dead.
Woody: Well, what about yesterday when you said "I wish he was dead"?

Frasier: So, uh, why didn't you go with him to the hospital?
Carla: I hate hospitals. I'll send him a card later if I think of it.
Frasier: Now, just a minute, Carla, listen. You've been seeing this man for over a year now. Don't you have any feelings for him?
Carla: Listen, Doc, I've had guys run out on me. I had a husband die on me. I got eight kids at home to worry about. I don't need to go getting attached to some other guy just because we sweat up the sheets now and then. I couldn't care less about Hill. You feel so strongly about him, you go visit him. [walks over to a table] You ready to order?
Man: Uh, yes, we'd like a gin and tonic with a lime, please, a Diet Coke, a Manhattan up, and we'll also need some fresh pretzels and, and [Carla cries]
Man: l- ls there something wrong, Miss?
Carla: [sobs] My boyfriend's in the hospital.

Carla: Everybody, just leave me alone. You're making this into something it's not.
Rebecca: Carla, you cannot hold something like this inside of you.
Phil: Yeah, Carla, I never shared how I feel and now I'm old and all alone. If there's one thing I learned...
Carla: Hey, Phil, zip it!

Carla: Look, first of all, I don't have any feelings for that slug. Second of all, you never saw me cry. Third, I'd like to stay and chat but I've got work to do. Sam, I want to talk to you in the office.
Sam: [to Rebecca] Oh, I don't, I don't want to hear about her relationship with John Hill. I don't understand what they do when they get together anyway, and I don't want to. I wish there was some way I could get out of this.
Woody: Well, why don't you just wish she was dead?

Carla: Oh, Sam. Hill's in the hospital and it's all my fault.
Sam: Naw, see, now you can't blame yourself for that.
Carla: Oh, but it's true. You see, last night started out as just an average date. Hill and I getting it on hot and heavy. I'm cursing at him, he's cursing at me. Some real beauties. The headboard was begging for mercy.
Sam: Do me a favor and just cut the chase. Unless there was a chase and... Oh, God, no.

Carla: Just before he keeled over, I went over the line. I said something so awful, I... l can't even repeat it.
Sam: Oh, honey. Well, what'd you say?
Carla: [mumbling]
Sam: I'm sorry, what?
Carla: [clears throat] I told him I loved him.
Sam: And that's... And that's bad, right?
Carla: Of course.
Sam: Uh-huh.
Carla: Of course that's bad!
Sam: Mm.
Carla: Sam, you don't get this, do you? Look, Hill and I have a very simple relationship. I don't like him, he doesn't like me, we get it on. Now, if we start saying we like each other, we're gonna screw up what we had. And then I'm gonna lose him and I don't want to lose him, 'cause I care for him. [gasps] What is with me?!