Sam: How you doing there?
Rebecca: Trying to figure out the best way to approach this. I guess I should lead off by saying that I knew nothing about it. But if I convince them that I knew nothing about it and all the information came through me, then I'm gonna look like a fool.
Sam: I think that's your ace in the hole.

Robin: Rebecca. My darling. What are you doing?
Rebecca: I'm turning you in. You used me. And don't try to deny it, because I've got proof. Robin, I am a human being, and I deserve to be treated like one. It's about time I stood up and did what was right. Good-bye, Robin.
Robin: Rebecca. Will you marry me?
Rebecca: OK.
Sam: Whoa, whoa, wait a second! Wait! Come on! Open your eyes here! He doesn't want to marry you. He's just using you.
Robin: Actually, yes, I am.
Sam: See?
Robin: I'm using Rebecca to make me the happiest man on earth.
Sam: Oh, man.
Rebecca: Isn't he the sweetest baby?
Sam: Get out here. Listen. He's just marrying you to shut you up so he can take over the corporation.
Robin: Yes, to give to her as a wedding present, and now you've spoiled the surprise.

Sam: I don't believe you! Honey, listen, you got the evidence in your hand right here. If somebody comes out and sees this, you're gonna be guilty, too.
Robin: Yes, well, then we must make sure that no one sees it. Excuse me.
[Robin shreds the document in the portable, briefcase-sized shredder he was carrying]
Sam: Boy, you really come prepared, don't you?
Robin: Well, I guess our business here is finished. For Rebecca's sake, this conversation never happened.
Rebecca: The part happened where you proposed to me, didn't it?
Robin: Of course, my darling. That was destiny.

Sam: I'll tell you, if I ever ran this bar again, if it was mine, there'd be a lot of changes around here. I would have raises right across the board. Woody, how much you make an hour?
Woody: 7 bucks.
Sam: You're kidding me. I only make $6.80. Hey, Carla, try "skinflint"!

Cliff: What are you reading there, Wood?
Woody: Oh, well, my landlord raised my rent, and, you know, I like my neighborhood and all, but I lived there for a long time. I guess it's time to move on.
Cliff: Because if you're not looking at the sports...

Rebecca: My whole world is a void...Empty a nd without meaning. There's no point to anything, and there's nothing left to do but just count the minutes until I die.
Norm: Hear that, gang? Our hive has found a queen. To the Queen.
Sam: What's wrong?
Rebecca: My life is garbage.
Carla: Ah, Rebecca, cheer up. Have some pretzels.

Sam: What's the trouble this time?
Rebecca: I just found out that Robin bought a house on the Left Bank for his babe Jean Marie.
Norm: Bought her a house? That's tough.
Carla: Ah, big deal. Him buying a house is like anyone else buying a dozen roses.
Norm: Yeah. Or a box of candy.
Woody: Or an engagement ring.
Rebecca: Thanks, Woody.
Woody: I just like to participate.

Robin: Oh, darling. Did you get my message?
Rebecca: Yes, I got your message, Robin, and I also found out that you bought a house for your little charge d'affaires, and don't you try denying it because I have got proof. I am sick of you stringing me along like this. I am a human being, and I deserve to be treated like one. It's about time I stood up and told you what I really think of you.
Robin: Rebecca, I was wondering if you might consider moving in with me.
Rebecca: OK.
Robin: Good.

Sam: Hey, if your boyfriend's so rich, then how come he didn't hire professional movers?
Norm: Yeah.
Rebecca: Well, he would have, but I wanted to get in here and surprise him before he got back from Zurich tomorrow. I'm making him meat loaf.
Norm: Rebecca, how does your corporation feel about you sharing a bed with the competition?
Rebecca: You know, Norm, I've been doing a lot of soul-searching about that lately, and I've come to the decision that I don't care. Isn't it great here? It's so beautiful. It's like a palace. You could get lost in this place, huh, Wood? Huh, Wood?
Woody: Oh, here you are.

Rebecca: Oh, man. This is like a dream come true for me... Me here alone with the man I adore in our cozy little love nest.
Sam: Big deal. He bought Jean Marie a whole house.
Rebecca: It was just a going-away present. Robin always gives women a furnished house when he dumps them.
Sam: Boy, that's class. I usually just give them a made-up phone number.