Irene: Hi, everyone. [Carla gasps at Irene's coat] Is Ernie here? I'd like to talk to him.
Carla: He'll be honored you remember his name.
Sam: Carla, come on. Stay out of this.

Coach: Irene, I haven't seen you since the night I proposed. How are the wedding plans going?
Irene: Well, that's what I wanted to talk to you about, Ernie.
Coach: Well, what did you want to do? Move the date up or something?
Irene: Ernie, would you please sit down?
Coach: Oh, sure, come on.
Irene: Do you know where I was tonight?
Coach: Oh, probably at home, wherever that is.
Irene: I went to the Governor's mansion for dinner.
Coach: Holy mackerel! I guess you didn't think I'd want to go, huh?
Irene: The point is, ever since I won that money, I've been meeting new people. Experiencing new things. And there's a lot more I still want to do. I'm talking about Paris, Monaco, London.
Coach: Well, I'd be perfectly happy with Six Flags.
Irene: I know you would.

Irene: Ernie, this is really... This is very hard for me. I wouldn't want to hurt you for the world, but the plain truth is I'm not the same person I was three weeks ago. That person loved you. You're a good man, but I've been married to a good man. I've never been obscenely wealthy. Money changes people, Ernie.
Coach: Well, it hasn't changed me. I'm engaged to a very wealthy woman, but I'm still the same simple guy I always was.
Irene: Ernie, I- I don't think we're engaged any more. I'm sorry. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.
Coach: Wait a minute. There's nothing to forgive, because this isn't you talking, it's the money. You've got to get this out of your system, Irene, and you'll come back to me.
Irene: I wish I could make you understand.
Coach: Look, we set a wedding date, right? That date is still set. When that date comes along, I'll be right here waiting for you.
Irene: Goodbye, Ernie. Have a wonderful life.
Coach: Irene, you're crazy. This isn't goodbye.
Irene: Yes, it is.
Coach: No, honey. It isn't.
Irene: It is. [exits]
Coach: She's going to make one hell of a wife, ain't she? [sings] Isn't it romantic?

Sam: Whoa, Coach, pretty spiffy there. What's the occasion?
Coach: It's only my wedding day. Some cologne, please.
Sam: You heard from Irene, Coach?
Coach: Well, not for a while. But you're not supposed to see the bride before the ceremony anyway, are you?
Sam: No, but you're supposed to know whether or not she's in the country at least.
Coach: Sam, will you stop worrying about every little thing, like countries, huh?
Sam: All right.
Coach: This is a very happy day.

Coach: Folks. Folks, I have an apology to make. A lot of you can't be invited to the wedding because it's going to be a small private affair. I'm sorry some of you had to be left out.
Norm: Like the bride, huh? [Carla kicks Norm in the shin] That really hurts.
Carla: Then I haven't lived in vain.

Coach: Diane, I'm sorry, but you can't sing at the wedding like you offered to.
Diane: I understand.
Carla: Yeah, just standing there looking geeky will be entertainment enough.

Carla: Look, Diane, you're not helping him saying stuff like that. We've got to get Coach to face reality.
Sam: Come on, Diane, you of all people should realize how painful it is to love somebody who doesn't love you back.
Diane: Ah, yes, your sobbing, your whimpering, your moony-eyed sighs have not gone unnoticed.
Sam: You must have dreamt that about me. So the dreams about me continue, huh? Still have the one about the white horse?
Diane: One end of it. Sam, the day I met Frasier Crane, I stopped looking for Mr. Right.
Sam: Yeah, that would discourage me, too.
Carla: Why don't you two hit either each other in the face or shut up?

Coach: You mean Irene didn't call?
Sam: Coach, I don't think Irene's going to call... ever.
Coach: Oh, Sam, you're so young. You're so young.
Sam: Hey, Coach, she's engaged to another man. I just spoke to her daughter. Some rich European guy.
Coach: Oh, heavens to Betsy! It looks like I've been left at the altar! Whatever shall I do?
Diane: Coach, will you wake up and smell the coffee?
Cliff: Hey, Diane, take it easy, will you?
Diane: Coach, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you. Please forgive me.
Coach: It's okay, honey. It's okay.

Diane: Up until a few moments ago, l, too, was a holdout for a happy ending. But even this seemingly incontrovertible evidence hasn't shaken your faith a fig. How can you be so certain?
Coach: Right here, Diane. The human heart, who knows how it works?
Cliff: Well, it's essentially an involuntary muscle, Coach, activated by electrical impulses...
Coach: Exactly! No one! It works by feelings, Diane. All my feelings tell me that she'll be back. You understand? She'll be back here before closing time. [sings] Isn't it romantic...

Diane: Nothing's sadder than a man holding on to a dead dream.
Sam: Unless it's a blonde woman struggling to keep her hopes up.
Diane: No, I think it's a tall ex-baseball player who clings for...
Carla: [screams]