Sam: [on the phone] Yeah. Hi, it's Sam. I want to put $200 on tonight's game. Wait, wait, wait. Maybe you can help me out here. Can you tell me which is the more dominant flower, the mountain lily or black-eyed Susan?

Lewis: How am I supposed to know Leslie Uggams?
Norm: Don't- Don't get me wrong. You know, it's not like I think all black people know each other. It's just, you know, all good-looking people with lots of warmth... Can I have another beer, Coach?

Victor: Now, then. I believe we were gonna step outside.
Cliff: All right. All right. All right, look. I'm a black belt in karate, my hands are lethal weapons.
Victor: [chuckles] Karate. Can you believe this guy? Tell you what. I'll give you a chance to get out of here. I'm gonna go in the back and play a little pool. You can say goodbye to your friends. But listen. If you're still here when I get back, we're going outside if I have to drag you there.

Carla: Karate, Cliff? For crying out loud! God!
Diane: What is wrong with that? I think Clifford showed excellent judgment.
Carla: Give me a break. It's the oldest cop-out in the world. Every sweetheart who wants to duck out of a fight says, "l know karate."
Cliff: Well, that's where you're wrong, Carla. I've been studying secretly now for several years.
Norm: Yeah, very secretly considering none of us heard a word out of you about it.
Carla: Yeah, and we've heard a word out of you about everything.
Cliff: Well, it's something we don't like to talk about. You just don't brag about it because it's spiritual attainment.

Victor: Hey, Kung Fu. I thought I told you to get lost.
Sam: What are you gonna do, pal? Throw all my customers out of my bar?
Victor: Hey, I'm not looking for trouble, Sam. But this guy knows I don't like him and he's been pushing me. If he'll admit that he's a coward and a liar, I'll walk away and never bother him any more.
Sam: Ah, come on. What's the point? Admit it, coward. Or get out of here.
[As everyone looks to Cliff, he turns around and walks out the door]
Sam: Happy, pal? You proved your point. Why don't you get out of here?
Victor: Look, I'm sorry. That guy just brings out the worst in me.

Sam: Hey, Cliff.
Carla: Well, if you're planning to hit him with those, you're too late, he left.
Cliff: These aren't for him, Carla. These are for you, my so-called friends.
Coach: Gee, thanks, Cliff. I need a brick.

Coach: Hey, Cliffie, I hate to ask, but if you do know karate, why did you have to bring Lewis in with you?
Cliff: Well, there's a very good reason for that, Coach. It's to scare off the other guy. It's one of our major precepts. Always stay out of a fight if humanly possible.
Coach: All right.
Diane: Well, I for one believe you, Clifford.
Coach: And I do too, Cliffy.
Carla: And I believe you, Cliff. I believe you are a big dink.