Diane: Shall we go?
Lilith: You know, I've always envied women like you who could simply tumble out of bed each morning looking blonde and perky.
Diane: Oh, well, I must admit, in my case, there is a little labor involved.
Carla: A little labor? She's calls in Local 416.

Diane: All right, fine! I'm not gonna play cat-and-mouse with a silly remote control box. You know, all you people ever see of Frasier Crane is an ordinary Joe sitting at the bar being one of the guys. You should see him in his metier. He's a brilliantly perceptive man.
Steve: Does anybody have a box that'll shut her up?
Carla: No, but I'd be glad to do it manually.

Sam: Hey, fellas, how was the fishing trip?
Norm: Geez. It would have been a little better without Cliff's jabbering. Guy catches one fish, turns into Ernest Hemingway.
Sam: Oh, congratulations, Cliff.
Cliff: Thank you, Sammy. Yeah, it was man against fish. The rest of the world was shut out. It was a good fish, a clean fish, a strong fish.
Sam: A little fish.
Carla: Get that stinking, slimy thing out of here. And take your fish with you.

Frasier: I'm ruined. Half of New England saw me today as a rutting pig.
Sam: Come on, Frasier. You're not in rut, you're in love.
Frasier: Oh, nonsense! I don't think that because two people breathe heavily on a TV show is any cause for them to declare their undying love.
Sam: Breathe heavily? I thought you were gonna suck in a chair there. Listen, a TV station may not have been the best place in the world to sprout antlers, but it happened. Go with it.

Diane: Isn't it exciting to see the blush of new-found love on their faces? Do you realize we've just seen the birth of a new ro-
Carla: Don't you have someplace to go?
Diane: Oh, yes. The concert. By myself. I'll go. And sure, I'll be alone, but I don't care. Because I'm in love. And no one who's truly in love can ever be alone. And I know my fellow loves me. He just doesn't know it yet. So I'll go to this concert, listen to the music, and dream again of the day when he'll be sitting beside me, holding my hand, sharing the moment. That's my dream, and mine alone. And no one can-
Carla: [screams at Sam] Get her out of here!
Sam: I'll go.
Diane: Only if you really want to.
Sam: But this is not a date. The fact that we sit together has nothing to do with anything. We're gonna take separate cabs. I will not talk to you during the intermission. I'm not gonna take you anywhere afterwards, and we will not mention this ever again, okay?
Diane: Fine.
Sam: Okay.
Diane: Is that love, or what?

Sam: Oh, uh, some customer was in with some tickets to some concert, sounded foreign and dull. I thought you wouldn't want to miss it.
Diane: Thank you. [gasps] Jean Pierre Rampal!
Sam: It was just some customer. I didn't really catch his name.
Diane: Oh. He's a flautist. Nothing less than brilliant. No other player could so eloquently fuse the world of classical music to that of modern jazz. What a perfect performer for us to see on this, our first official date together in our new-found relationship. What should I wear? Something long or tea length?
Sam: Why don't you wear something you can stretch out in?
Diane: Oh.
Sam: The seat next to you's gonna be empty.

Woody: Hey, so you guys ready to go fishing?
Norm: Uh, we got to... You know, Woody, uh, couple beers first. You know, I work up a powerful thirst watching, uh, Thoracian dogs smite Spartan pigs, you know.

Sam: What's the TV show?
Frasier: Well, it's a local talk show called Psychology This Week.
Sam: Oh.
Frasier: Oh, maybe you heard it. I don't know.
Sam: I know all about that show. It's where once a week a couple of shrinks get together and debate certain aspects of the psychological condition.
Frasier: That's right.
Norm: Oh, man, we had to pick today to go fishing, huh, Cliff?
Diane: Well, I'm surprised. I didn't know you were a fan.
Sam: Hmm.
Carla: Well, he was, but he stopped watching when they lost the hostess with the big Hindenburgs.

Lilith: I really don't think I can do that.
Diane: Oh, come on, Dr. Sternin. You're going to be on television today. A little refinement of your appearance might give you an edge in the debate.
Lilith: Well, I suppose it wouldn't hurt.
Diane: Good, good! Let me get my things. Sam, may I have my purse, please? Oh, and I'm going to be taking my lunch hour a little early today.
Sam: Thank you for showing up at all.
Diane: You're welcome.

Sam: You really made her look beautiful, Diane.
Carla: Physician, heal thyself.