Frasier: Oh, well, don't you see? What these two people, who are such geniuses at romance, are trying to do is to get you to take your hair down, thinking that it will stimulate me like some sort of Pavlovian dog. So, why don't you just oblige them, get this silliness over with so we can get on with our lives?
Lilith: [sighs] You mean like this?
Frasier: Precisely. You know what?
Lilith: What?
Frasier: I'm going to kiss you. I'm going to kiss you hard, and I'm going to kiss you long. But make no mistake about it, I am going to kiss you. In fact, I'm going to kiss you like you've never... [Lilith kisses Frasier] Yes, like that. Now listen, Lilith, I think you and I have just been too articulate for words. We talk and we talk, and what we really want to do is show how we feel.
Lilith: I think, Dr. Crane-
Frasier: Look, I don't care what you think! We both want to be animals. Now I'm going back to my tastefully decorated townhouse and prove it. Well, l- l suggest you come with me.
Lilith: I think I see what you're trying to do, Dr. Crane, and I just want you to know... it worked. [jumps into his arms] Let's go.

Frasier: It's on at 4:00. It promises to be very cerebral, and, uh, I might add, uh, darned entertaining.
Carla: Well, uh, unfortunately, Frasier, it interferes with another highly cerebral event. The, uh, Raiders / Patriots game.
Sam: Yeah, right.
Diane: I realize that football is a rarity on television in the fall, but don't you think we could spare half an hour to see our friend, Frasier?
Sam: Do you have any idea how much action you can miss in a half an hour of football?
Diane: About 18 seconds.

Norm: You want to tell me what the taxicab was doing, uh, parked in front of the Temple of Athena?
Cliff: Yeah. All right, uh, it was, uh... Uh... It was, uh, probably taking Demitrius to the airport.

Sam: Uh, Frasier? There's a theory going around the bar that you're ticked off with Dr. Sternin because you're in love with her. What do you think?
Frasier: Well, that sounds like someone who doesn't know shortcake from Shinola.
Sam: Hey, good guess, good guess. Diane.
Frasier: Oh, well, hmm. That's nothing but mere cocktail-party psychology. Believe it or not, Sam, it's actually possible to have hostile feelings toward someone without being in love with them.
Sam: You mean I can actually hate Diane without having it mean anything more than I hate her?
Frasier: Feel free.

Cliff: Nice show, huh?
Woody: Well, if you ask me, there's something wrong with watching televised fishing.
Norm: Not the same impact as watching it live, huh, Woody?
Woody: Hey, you know something? I got a great idea. What's to stop us from taking a little fishing trip ourselves?
Cliff: We don't want to?
Woody: Oh. Come on, it'd be fun. You know, we could go this very afternoon, head out to Lake Winthrop, huh? What do you say?
Norm: All right. Okay. All right, let's get organized here, uh, Woody. Uh, I'd like you to be in charge of bait and tackle, okay?
Woody: Got you.
Norm: Cliffy in charge of, uh, food and the transportation.
Cliff: Okay.
Woody: Well, what're you in charge of, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: Finding a reason not to go. Ah, here we go. Gladiator film festival at the Majestic.
Cliff: Yeah, that's a good one. Boom, boom, boom, boom... [humming dramatic fanfare]
Norm: De gustibus non est disputandum!

Diane: There's only one man I want to be with. No, no, I'll go alone. And it'll be fine.
Woody: Miss Chambers, I might be back from my fishing trip in time to take you, if I don't stop to clean up first.
Diane: No, thank you, Woody, that's very sweet. Maybe next time.
Woody: Okeydoke, but I don't know when I'm gonna be going fishing again.

Diane: Oh, my.
Sam: What's wrong?
Diane: Oh, don't you see? Frasier's in love.
Sam: He's what?
Diane: Oh, come on, Sam. You're forgetting I was once romantically involved with Frasier. I know when he's enamored of someone. Didn't you see his nostrils flare? And everyone knows that hate is not the opposite of love. Indifference is.
Sam: Well, whatever you say. I really don't care.
Diane: Touche, Sam. Let's be honest. Quite often you've expressed feelings of antagonism toward me, and we both know how much you love me.
Sam: I- I do not love you, Diane, and I have the nostrils to prove it.

Frasier: Oh, I better cancel that appearance before it's too late.
Sam: There you go.
[Lilith enters the bar]
Cliff: Uh-oh! Frost warning.

Lilith: Secondly, I think perhaps we...
Frasier: Look, Dr. Sternin, if you'll excuse me, I have to cash a check and fill up my gas tank before the show.
Lilith: Yes, I know. Have the attendant make sure your tires aren't as inflated as your ego.
Frasier: You know, you perplex me.
Lilith: Oh?
Frasier: Yes, normally people of your limited physical appeal make up for it with an actual personality.

Lilith: Why would Frasier Crane be attracted to me? I'm not that kind of woman.
Diane: Oh, but you can be. It just takes a little softening of the edges. Perhaps loosen the bun a bit to relieve some of the tension in your face.
Lilith: I'm afraid it's not as easy as all that.
Diane: Oh, that's nonsense. Look, I'm not far from here. Why don't you come over to my place, and I'll show you what I mean? We'll just put a little more makeup on. Or some.