George Michael: Gangie's having an anniversary party?
Michael: Seems that way.
George Michael: Is Franklin gonna be there?
Gob: See that, Mike? Kids love Franklin.
George Michael: I just don't want him to point out my cracker ass in front of Ann.
Gob: Imagine what he'd say about her.

Lindsay: So you were listening in on George Michael. Can you believe what he asked me this morning?
[flashback:]
George Michael: Do you think my mom's engagement ring is still around?
Lindsay: Of course it is. Your father would never part with something so precious.
Narrator: In fact, Lindsay was currently wearing it on her middle toe, roast beef.

[flashback:]
George Michael: You know, I'm thinking of asking Ann to get pre-engaged.
Lindsay: You are?
George Michael: Yeah. I feel like God moved her here from Ohio to be with me.
George Sr.: [o.s.] Her?
[present:]
Michael: Well, that's the first I've heard of this.
Lindsay: Well, then who said "Her?"
Michael: Me. That was- That was me. But, um, her?

Narrator: Meanwhile, Gob went to check on the one friend who didn't mind having him around.
George Sr.: [as Franklin] Get your loser hand out of my ass. [normal voice] Hello, Son.
Gob: Oh, Dad. I thought- Dad? This is where you've been hi- Michael.
George Sr.: I just came back because of your mother. She's with my brother on my anniversary. But I got an idea from George Michael. I need to recommit myself to your mother.
Gob: Her?
George Sr.: But you gotta get me into that party. Then you gotta take me to this church. I found this brochure that Ann left behind.
Gob: That's gonna be tough. I'm not really all that invited.
George Sr.: I got it all worked out, but I need a limousine.
Gob: I- I can do this, Dad. I'm gonna make you proud.
George Sr.: Never too late to start.

Michael: Oh, Pastor. I didn't know. You didn't tell me.
Gob: I told you.
Michael: No, you didn't.
Pastor Veal: People treat you so differently when they find out you're a man of God.
Michael: Oh, believe me, I know.
Pastor Veal: Oh, are you a churchgoing man?
Michael: I am. Sometimes. Yes. I don't go religiously. I mean, I'm not a nut about it. Because there is no such thing as a nut when it comes to religion, Pastor.
Pastor Veal: I've met a few.
Michael: I'm sure if you look a bit closer you'll find some very earnest people that are just doing their best.

Michael: This is your wife? Didn't- Didn't realize you could remarry.
Pastor Veal: What?
Michael: Is this Ann's mother?
Mrs. Veal: I'm Mrs. Veal.
Michael: I'm sorry. I just- I did not expect somebody so young.
Mrs. Veal: Next you're gonna say how Ann and I can be sisters.
Michael: No, I'd never say that.

Michael: Don't you think they're a bit too young?
Pastor Veal: Oh, we got serious around his age.
Michael: Well, who can blame you? You gotta lock that down. But I'm not quite sure that they're ready.
Pastor Veal: Michael, in my experience, there is no recipe for a perfect match. It takes the love of two families.
Michael: Well, you haven't met my family.
Narrator: And that's when Michael devised a new plan to win the Veals' disapproval.
Michael: You haven't met my family. You should meet my family. We're gonna be having an anniversary party.
Pastor Veal: What a wonderful surprise. We would love to witness a celebration of their love.
Michael: That would be a wonderful surprise.

Oscar: Maybe you can point out to your mother that your father hasn't arrived yet.
Buster: Hmm. So, my father's not here.
Oscar: Maybe he is.
[Lucille rolls her eyes]

George Michael: Ann just called. They had a predawn mass, and then they're gonna go to mass, so-
Michael: Well, Ann's got a great deal of mass.

Michael: Hi, Mrs. Veal. Welcome. Mom, this is Ann's mother.
Lucille: Are you sure this isn't her sister?
Mrs. Veal: What a lovely thing to say.
Michael: That's an awful thing to say, Mom. Please.