Lucille: So the family got a little stimmy. Don't make a federal case out of it.

Narrator: [gravelly] It was May- [clears throat] It was May 4th, and in the bayside town of Newport Beach, the annual celebration known as Cinco de Cuatro was underway. The holiday started as a particularly vicious response by a young Lucille Bluth to the Mexican holiday...
[flashback:]
Young Lucille: This still isn't made?
Narrator: ...of Cinco de Mayo.
Young George Sr.: No, no, it's not.
Young Lucille: Rosa, why is this still a mess?
Young George Sr.: She said it's Cinco de Mayo. She's taking the day off.
Young Lucille: She said that?
Young George Sr.: Yeah.
Young Lucille: She called it Cinco de Mayo?
Young George Sr.: She did, yeah.
Young Lucille: Oh, why can't they just call it May 5th? This is what I was talking about. It's all part of the Mexican war on May 5th.
Young George Sr.: War on May 5th, I know, yeah.
Young Lucille: It is.
Narrator: But even a skeptical George Sr. soon found himself feeling similarly embattled.
Young George Sr.: Where the [bleep] are my socks?

[flashback:]
Young Lucille: We should start our own holiday.
Narrator: You see, the Hispanics of Newport liked Cinco a lot, but high up on Coast Highway, Lucille Bluth did not.
Young George Sr.: Doesn't look like they'll be done any time soon.
Narrator: And then Lucille had a horrible thought, a thought that was thoughtless and better to not. "What if," she thought with a sneering grin...
Young Lucille: Next year, what if the party didn't even begin?

Michael: Yeah, clearing out. An hour, here, there. Yes? Got it. Not a problem. You give me a little fair warning, I clear right out of here. Let's schedule it now. We can do it. I need help with the calendar, though. It's, like, stuck on 2003. Help me just break into-
George Michael: You just hit "Today." The "Today" button.
Michael: Sorry. It's stuck in 2003, so I don't have "Today." I need to jump forward.
George Michael: No, I know. There's a button that says "today."
Michael: There's number of years. Yeah, this has no button. It's a new kind.

Michael: Let me get this straight. I still have to do all the work as the president of the company, but I can't use any of the money for the company, and you won't let me help with your case, but you'd still like for me to testify at your trial. Is that right?
Lucille: I just want you to say I was a loving mother.
Michael: And now perjury.

Michael: Pal, good news. The article that they did on me in Altitude magazine comes out today.
P-Hound: You're in Attitude? That magazine is gay.
Narrator: Oh, he wasn't being flip with the word "gay." Attitude is a British magazine for homosexuals.
Michael: Altitude. It is OutWest Airlines' in-flight magazine.
George Michael: Can I see it?
P-Hound: Probably doesn't have it. Try finding a flight at this time of the year. [laughs]
Michael: You ever even been on a plane, you piece of [bleep]?

George Sr.: Michael, you never accept help from anyone. That's why we didn't cut you in. We didn't want to demean you. It's like tipping an African American. You wouldn't tip an African American, would you?
Michael: Of course I would.
George Sr.: On a train?
Michael: What- Did you know about all this?
Barry: No, I've been tipping them. Even a waiter?

George Michael: Because since there's only three people voting, everyone's gonna know who voted against who.
Michael: Well, what about if your "girlfriend" wants to move in? That way, she gets a vote.
Maeby: I'm just here for tutoring.
George Michael: She's not my girlfriend, she's my cousin.
Maeby: I'm not attracted to him.
George Michael: Well, why's that even an issue?
Michael: P-Hound doesn't know any of that stuff. Okay? He'll just think that her vote's the vote that got him out.
George Michael: Well, wouldn't my girlfriend want to get rid of my father?
Maeby: I'm not your girlfriend.
Michael: Not your girlfriend.
George Michael: No, but he doesn't know that.

Narrator: And so began a holiday on the eve of the 5th of May, originally intended to deplete the party supplies the Cinco de Mayo celebrants were relying upon.
Vendor #1: Fill the bay with chorizo. Chorizo dump!
Narrator: Over 30 years, however, it grew and was soon embraced by the Hispanic community...
Vendor #2: You buy it, you break it!
Narrator: ...for financial reasons. And as the celebrations peaked with a boat parade Called the Festival of Lights, another phrase they wanted back, one man was about to hit his lowest point.

Narrator: This is Lucille 2, a long-time patron of the Bluth family.
Sally Sitwell: I'll be downstairs, kicking myself for not marrying you so many years ago.
Lucille Austero: Michael, do you have something for me?
Michael: Does bad news count?
Lucille Austero: There's that Bluth wit. Oh, I love your family.
Narrator: She certainly had demonstrated that with many of the men in the family. Even having fallen for a few, although some of that was the vertigo she suffered from. But not all of it.
Michael: Dad?
George Sr.: No, no.
Narrator: But seriously, she had gotten intimate with Buster and Gob.