Gob: Okay, and we're going to go back to the hospital.
Michael: Yeah, good, check on Buster. We do need to stick together as a family on this.
Gob: Actually going to to swipe some more talking magazines, but I'll make sure to poke the head in. [as Franklin] Bye.

Narrator: Michael had just discovered a hidden room in the model home where all the family secrets were stored.
Michael: My dad's trying to pinall of his crimes on "N. Bluth," and I might be N. Bluth. At least that's what it says according to my birth certificate. All of our family records are up here.
Tobias: Hmm.
Michael: And, for some reason, this stack of body building magazines.
Tobias: [chuckles] Well, I guess your, uh your dad must have had these from way back when, huh?
Judge Reinhold: [sound effect] My name is Ju-
Michael: That seems kind of current.
Tobias: Uh. Who am I trying to kid, Michael. I was trying to beef up to impress that wife of mine, but now she's after some rich guy who's trying to kill his mom...
Michael: And I have to go talk to my dad. You coming out?
Tobias: No. No, I've got to fight for my wife. I'm going to keep my marriage alive.

Michael: I'm "N. Bluth," aren't I? Legally, that's my real name. You've been doing all the Iraq business under it thinking that it wouldn't be traceable. But it is, and I'm going down.
George Sr.: For God's sake, it's a typo, Michael. What kind of father do you think I am? They even got your birth date wrong.
Michael: That is my birth date.
George Sr.: Close to Christmas. Was that hard? It's a coincidence, Michael! You're not N. Bluth. There is no N. Bluth.

Narrator: George Michael and Maeby were also at the hospital, putting on a wedding for the Alzheimer's patients.
Clerk: ...and now they are truly family. It is permanent. Eternal.
Narrator: And Maeby did the thing she had always thought was so corny I can't do this.
Maeby: I can't do this.
George Michael: But, we aren't-
Maeby: What am I doing?!
George Michael: We're not-
Narrator: ...and ran away.
George Michael: What are we going to do?
Clerk: Just give it a minute. Now it's a Bar Mitzvah.

Narrator: And the next day, the mock trial began, as did the mock episode of what had now been renamed...
Director: Mock Trial With J. Reinhold. Take one.

Bailiff: All rise for acting's highest honor, Judge Reinhold. Judge Reinhold is neither a real judge, nor has he received acting's highest honor.
Judge Reinhold: Wow. Thank you. That's the first time I ever got a standing ovation before the show. [silence] They're not clapping.
Jan Eagleman: They don't in a courtroom.
Bailiff: Please be seated.

Michael: I've no cross at this time.
George Sr.: Now this is why you're not handling my real defense.
Michael: I have one witness, Dad, and he'll clear every thing up.
Narrator: Gob had a little trouble.
Jan Eagleman: State your name.
Judge Reinhold: [sound effect] My name is Judge.
Gob: What kind of name is that, "Magazine"?
Michael: I'm just going to go ahead and jump in right here. I have nothing for him.

George Sr.: Well, listen, have fun out there, because this is the last time you're going to see this side of a courtroom till your second wife divorces your freckled ass.
Michael: Look at that, you just blew your wedding speech. I'd like to jump right ahead to calling a surprise witness.
Jan Eagleman: Only witnesses on the list.
Michael: Oh, he's on the list. I would like to call to the stand Franklin Delano Bluth.
Gob: You're calling Franklin, Mikey?
Michael: I sure am, pal. I support my brother.

Jan Eagleman: You Honor, this is highly unusual.
Judge Reinhold: Well, I'm very curious to see where this is going. I'm going to allow it. But I'm warning you, Mr.
Bluth, this better make for a good promo.
Michael: I was approached by the real prosecution recently, and was asked if I would be willing to turn on my family and save myself. Would you please press the "play" button on the tape recorder inside the puppet.
Wayne Jarvis: [on tape] If you don't do it, we're going to go after N. Bluth, and we think that's you.
Michael: [on tape] You're asking me to conspire against my own client.
Wayne Jarvis: Why do there have to be puppets like Franklin?
Michael: [on tape] Couldn't you go to jail for that?
Wayne Jarvis: [on tape] Think about it, Michael.
Judge Reinhold: Well, it looks like we've got a mistrial. But on the plus side, we've also got a Hung Jury, hit it!

George Sr.: You did good out there, Michael. But it's just a mock trial. Why don't you just take it to the grand jury?
Michael: I wanted to prove to you that I could do it. I'm going to a grand jury with that now.
Narrator: Actually, Michael had no idea that's what he was supposed to do.