Gob: Why don't you just take your precious, portable stairway vehicle you're always trying to convince us is a car?
Michael: Yeah, that would be great, except our brother-in-law left it in an airport parking lot.
Gob: From whence it came, huh?
Narrator: In fact, Tobias had intended to park the family's only vehicle at the airport parking lot but was waved on to the tarmac instead where he found a spot close to his gate.

Michael: No, no, no, no, no. No more banana grabbing. No more car grabbing. Throw that away, please.
George Michael: But it's already made.
Michael: I don't care. Nobody gets it now, okay? Are you happy?
Gob: My own brother. Michael. My own selfish brother. Michael.
Michael: All right. [to George Michael] I do not want you to get upset. He did not mean that. Sometimes he says-
Gob: Selfish Michael.
Michael: He did not mean that either.

Lucille: What are you going to do?
Buster: Bid on you.
Lucille: How much?
Buster: Ten thousand dollars.
Lucille: When?
Buster: When they call my name.
Lucille: No, they're not going to call your name. They're going to call my name. [sighs] Good grief.

Michael: Hey, Busty. You been using Dad's car?
Buster: No. Uh, well, yes.
Michael: You got the keys?
Buster: Uh, probably in my school pants.
Michael: Okay.
Buster: I have been a part of this archeological dig.
Michael: Hmm.
Buster: I think we found a part of a pterodactyl under Fashion Island.
[flashback:]
Man: Be careful.
Buster: Oh! That was 90% gravity.

Buster: It is my day on the schedule, but I guess you get them first.
Michael: Yeah.
Buster: Wait. I need my rape whistle back.
Michael: You got all your stuff out of the car?
Buster: Yeah, I left my, um, homework in the backseat, but I can get it later.
Michael: Okay.
Buster: Okay. [blows whistle; chuckles] Help.

Narrator: Michael surveyed the damage to his father's car the partially excavated skull, the spilled nail polish the burned seats and he came to an important decision.
Michael: Well, I'm getting some ice cream, I can tell you that right now.

George Sr.: Okay. I got a dance I gotta get ready for.
Michael: Whoa. There's really a dance?
George Sr.: I don't know. Both sides are making a lot of promises.

Lindsay: [on the phone] Oh, Michael, it's so beautiful here. You have to come down and see this.
Michael: Yeah, well, I'm a little busy right now. I've got someone else in the car with me and I'm not going anywhere until she's taken care of.
Lindsay: Look, I screwed up, okay? I'm lost. And I hate them. I hate the wetlands. They're stupid and wet, and there are bugs everywhere. And I think I maced a crane, Michael. Look, you've got Dad's car. Why don't you come pick me up?
Michael: Crazy. Loco. Listen, we gotta make a little detour, okay? So I hope no one's waiting for you.
Narrator: In fact, the woman Michael thought was Lupe did have people waiting for her and they had reported her missing.

Narrator: The real Lupe, however, was leaving Lucille's for the evening.
Lucille Austero: Buster, I- Oh. Hello. It appears my one-time admirer is not planning some grand romantic gesture after all. You know what? It's his loss. It's his loss. It's his loss!

Narrator: Gob, meanwhile, was casing the permit office following the first rule of surveillance: never get noticed.
Gob: Carrier Express.
Man: Say, you're not our regular guy.
Gob: No, I'm the substitute.
Man #2: Hey, Gary, get a picture of me with the new whistling delivery guy.
Narrator: Gob realized he needed a new plan.