Gob: Well, look who's here, you.
Michael: Where is she?
Gob: First of all, that's very dated of you, Michael. "He's" don't like to be called "she's" and I don't who this he-man is that you're referring to.

Michael: Mom told me you were bragging about seeing somebody in showbiz. Then I see a frozen dove in a freezer.
Gob: That could be anything.
Michael: It said "love each other" on the foot band.
Gob: Yeah, that does sound like one of mine. Whose freezer was it in?
Michael: Rebel. Rebel Alley's. Nice try, Gob. If I want to see bad acting, I'll go see Tobias in A Jew Comes to Dinner.
Narrator: But Gob wasn't acting. He'd just forgotten that he had met a still-partying Rebel Alley. And Rebel returned home to an unfortunate surprise. She felt bad, so quickly put it in a bag, wrote down the species and location from which she'd acquired it and then one further caution. It was a merry mix-up. But neither of them knew any of this.

Gob: Look, I'm not the guy, Michael. I thought you'd be proud of me. I did what you said. I filled all your houses.
Michael: Hang on. Filled 'em?
Gob: Every last one of 'em.
Michael: With who?
Gob: With sex offenders.

Lucille: What happened to your eye? Is that from Gob? Was I right about him?
Michael: No, actually. Want to hear a funny story? You're out of the movie.
Lucille: Hold on, George. I beg your pardon?
Michael: Did you say George? Is that Dad? 'Cause he's the one who told me to hire Gob. I actually owe him a call. [takes phone] Hey, Dad, how you doing? Yes, he did. With sex offenders. You want to hear something funny? You're out of the movie! Want to hold for Mom? Yeah. Bye.

Narrator: But getting Gob's boyfriend's contact information out of that phone was the reason for Tony's charade.
Gob: He hates me. The whole family hates me.
Tony Wonder: Damn it!
Narrator: Which he remembered too late.
Gob: Yeah, damn it! I mean, I even helped fill his stupid homes with sex offenders, and yet he still hates me.
Tobias: Sex offenders need a place to live, too.
Gob: Yes! Exactly! That's what I always say.

Narrator: It turns out the guys had tons in common.
Tony Wonder: That's so weird.
Gob: -weird.
Tony Wonder: Like-
Gob: Like-
Tony Wonder: the last time I went-
Gob: the last time I went-
Tony Wonder: scuba diving?
Gob: scuba diving?
Tony Wonder: While eating Cap'n Crunch.
Gob: While eating Cap'n Crunch.
Both: Same.

Narrator: The hours melted away. I guess I must have been And perhaps, pretending to be gay...
Tony Wonder: I don't know, I guess I was 17-
Narrator: ...allowed them the freedom to speak honestly.
Tony Wonder: when I started saying "same."
Gob: Same.
Tony Wonder: That's about the same time I got into magic. You know, I think I got into misdirection 'cause I just... Maybe I was trying to hide my feelings or something.
Gob: I was just doing it to get out of gym.
Tony Wonder: Who's Jim?
Gob: No, I... Phys Ed. [laughs] Jealous!
Tony Wonder: Oh. Kidding.

Narrator: And Tony had another opportunity to get at Gob's phone. And chose not to take it. Gob also saw an opportunity to, in some small way, sabotage Tony's act. And he also chose not to. Although he did put the mask down his pants.

Narrator: And that's how Ann not only performed a real-life version of Tony's most beloved illusion... but was responsible for the first reported instance of a Christian straight-to-gay conversion.