Narrator: And that's how Lindsay ended up receiving this spiritual advice.
Maeby: You are so full of [bleep].
Lindsay: Yeah, yeah.
Maeby: Pull your head out of the sand. Love is where you left it.
Lindsay: The only person back home is Tobias.
Maeby: You have no children?
Lindsay: No. Why do you ask? Well, yes, a daughter. She's away at boarding school in England.
Maeby: Is that where we left it?
Narrator: Although you'd think this would have given her away.
Lindsay: Hug?
Maeby: Please don't squeeze the shaman.

Barry: Maeby, you scared the [bleep] out of me.
Maeby: What are you doing here?
Barry: Well, I could ask you the same thing.
Maeby: I go to high school here.
Barry: I could answer the same thing. I was just looking for something more believable.
Maeby: Speaking of believable, I was going to ask you a question about that. Um, can somebody get kicked out of high school if they're too old? I think I was made at a bar.
Barry: I know this part of the law very, very well. After 21, it is illegal for you to enroll in high school in the state of California. As a matter of fact, you cannot even lurk. [scoffs] "Lurk." What, do they got cameras in the bushes? Why would they do that? You can't even see into the locker rooms from there.
Maeby: Okay, so what do I do? Because the guy who caught me goes to school with me.
Barry: Oh, well, that's easy. You get something incriminating on him. Call me in the office, we'll discuss it, and then I can also keep a record, you know, for billing and so forth.
Maeby: Yeah, well, maybe I'll just keep a record of it, too, so I can follow up with my own bill.
Barry: [chuckles] Very good. You should be the lawyer. Very good. Pro bono.

Narrator: And soon, she was pimping out George Michael's software company as well.
Maeby: Fakeblock, it's exploding. I got my PR company fanning it. I even got it to the attention of Jim Cramer.
George Michael: Jim Cramer?
Maeby: He's a guy I've worked with, and he even mentioned it on Mad Money.
[clip from Mad Money:]
Jim Cramer: This Fakeblock thing is poised to explode! I never do this. Hell, it's not even a stock yet. For all I know, it's not even real! But I think this might be going through the roof! I'm calling it my first hypothetical buy. And this weekend, don't forget to catch me on Gangie IV. Here's a taste. This old lady's crazy! I'm raising the alert level from "Don't Leave the House " to "Board Up Your Windows!"

Narrator: And soon, she was saying farewell to Hollywood in a way she hoped they'd remember.
Maeby: Thank you, Kirk Cameron, for that incredibly Bible-y introduction. Okay, so tie yourself to your chair, because this is going to be a rough [bleep] ride. I'm leaving this [bleep] dying business to join the software game. Double [bleep] newsflash. I'm starting Fakeblock with George Maharis. The world's first anti-social network. So you know what? You can take this Opie and shove it up your [bleep] all right? Because I will [bleep] punt the next god [bleep] who tells me I'm finished, you [bleep] hats. So you can all go [bleep] yourselves! What? Sure. Please welcome the talented voices of Phineas and Ferb. Go [bleep] yourself! [bleep] you.
Narrator: And although she was pursued, she was able to shake security when a bigger problem occurred.

George Michael: But, you know, I'm actually I'm glad to have a moment alone with you, because it gives us a chance to talk about us. You know, I really care about you.
Maeby: Oh, boy, here we go. You want to get more serious.
Narrator: And Maeby didn't because... And I never told you this, but George Michael wasn't a very good kisser. It seems he both used his tongue to fend off the intruding tongue, but also laterally moved his lower jaw while constricting his lower lip. The upper lip, meanwhile, tended to retract, revealing an exposed area from the front teeth to the canines, ultimately creating more pain than pleasure. Really just rookie mistakes, but all of it conspired to make Maeby concerned about him wanting to get more serious.

Maeby: I'll get the ball rolling with some free publicity when I accept my award. Come on, this could be my only chance to be a heiress.
George Michael: A Harris?
Maeby: All right, fine. You can still be the boss, okay? I just don't want people to know that I'm working with my cousin. So, you are not my cousin. You are not George Michael Bluth.
George Michael: I'm great with that. In fact, you know, what might really help us sell it... Oh, heiress. You meant... You don't pronounce the "H." And that's not what heiress means.
Maeby: I pronounce the "H."
George Michael: No, but that's not how the word is... You know, we say words the way we say them for a reason.

Narrator: And while it did bring the family back together...
Michael: Stop with the prayer hands. It just looks like you're out of ideas.
Narrator: It did make it harder for Maeby to make this insult stick.
Maeby: Don't you think it makes you seem a little, um, what is that saying, full of [bleep].
Lindsay: Thank you, Maeby. That's actually a compliment in India.
Maeby: My own fault.
Lindsay: I'm here because a shaman told me that love is where I left it.

George Michael: ...and they want to steal your music and copy your movies, or just look at your photos. You know, this prevents that. It just neutralizes that so it's not even a threat. It's called Fakeblock.
Michael: Great name.
George Michael: Yeah, well, you know, It's super low-hanging fruit. Someone's gonna do it. We're just trying to be those guys, you know.
Michael: I don't understand a word of it, but it works. You should see his Facebook page. Doesn't have a friend on it.
Narrator: Of course, that last part had nothing to do with Fakeblock.
George Michael: Thank you, Dad.
Narrator: But it did help George Michael's self-esteem.

Narrator: But she did find that she was being honored at an award show dedicated to the achievements of young people in the entertainment business.
Maeby: I'm getting an Opie?
Narrator: And it did boost her esteem.
Maeby: Hey.
Narrator: The only bigger honor would be having an award like that named after you, I guess.

George Michael: You actually rented a little office.
Maeby: Yeah. I don't want you to see it yet. Still setting it up. With a little help from a wealthy benefactor, Lucille 2.
George Michael: Oh, Gangie.
Maeby: No, Lucille 2. Austero.
George Michael: I don't know who that is.
Maeby: You don't?
George Michael: Never met the woman.
Maeby: Well, she'll be the one driving the stair car from now on. It was part of the deal.
George Michael: You gave her my car?
Maeby: Yeah, it's technically hers anyways, 'cause of the Bluth Company. But I did get you her 1988 yellow Cadillac. She only uses it to and from hip replacements. [laughs] Uh, I guess that's only funny if you know who she is.