Janine: Well, look on the bright side. Now we get to all stay inside and have lunch together, which will be nice because, despite what some people say, we all love each other, like one big, happy family.
Ava: Ugh, what are you talking about?
Jacob: I told her we're work friends, and now she's doing this.
Melissa: Well, we are work friends. What's the problem?
Janine: Uh, no. No, no, no, we are a family.
Ava: [mockingly] "We're family." Enough with that Dominic Toretto rhetoric.
Janine: Th-There's a reason that there are nine of those movies.

Melissa: Honey, family you kill for. I ain't killing for any of ya. Except Barbara.
Barbara: Look, we come here, we love our kids, we exchange some delightful repartee. We are good colleagues. And then we leave. There's nothing wrong with that.
Janine: But I just feel like it doesn't have to be that way.
Ava: Girl, this ain't a sorority. I'm not shoplifting Plan B for you.
Gregory: See, this is what people are trying to avoid.
Janine: I know. I just think we should spend the time to get to know each other better. [thunder rumbles]
[aside to camera:]
Janine: Oh, they may not want to share, but I have ways of making people talk. [thunder crashes] Mm. [points to the heavens]

Gregory: Um, Farmer Hank has seven turkeys, then he buys six more. How many turkeys does Farmer Hank now have?
Barbara: Hmm.
Melissa: [raises hand] Is one of the turkeys pregnant?
Gregory: One of my kids asked the same thing.
Barbara: Because it's a good question, and it shows that they're using critical thinking.
Gregory: It's irrelevant.
Melissa: No, it might be silly to you, but to them, it might be an important question that, if they don't get it answered, they can't focus.
Barbara: And diversions are an important part of learning. Otherwise, they're just memorizing.
Gregory: Memorization is how I learned all the states' capitals. Juneau, Salem, Madison. I can keep going.
Melissa: In my class, we do silly voice time to, you know, break up the day. [high-pitched voice] And it makes learning more fun, too.

Barbara: Okay. [laughs] Follow my lead. Here we go. [dances] Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm.
Gregory: What's happening?
Barbara: Oh, come on, now, son. Moving those hips a little, it is not going to kill you. Now, let's do this math problem again. Oh, what's the turkey farmer's name?
Gregory: Hank?
Barbara: Yes! Alright. [dances and sings] ♪ Hank has two turkeys ♪ ♪ He gets two more ♪ ♪ How many turkeys? ♪ [Gregory is silent] ♪ Hank has two turkeys ♪ ♪ He gets two more ♪ ♪ How many turkeys? ♪
Gregory: [off-key] ♪ He has four ♪
Barbara: [laughing] Ah! Yes!
Melissa: [silly voice] Or six if one of the turkeys is pregnant with twins. [silly laugh] [normal voice] See? Who told you learning can't be fun?

Jacob: If I were just your coworker, would I know you like to fall asleep to Last Man Standing every night?
Janine: Hey, Tim Allen and that family have gotten me through some dark times.
Jacob: Yeah, Last Man Standing is basically your Green Book.

Tariq: Yo, you spit, too? Rap with me, Jake.
Jacob: Oh, no, that could potentially be very undope.
Janine: Baby, his name is Jacob. Jacob.
Jacob: Yeah, some people forget the "ob." [Janine chuckles]

Janine: [aside to camera] Tariq's gonna be performing some of his songs later today at Abbott for F.A.D.E., Friends Against Drug Exposure. Yeah, he got the gig totally on his own. I mean, I reached out to the organization, and Tariq said, "Sure."

Janine: Oh, I see what's happening. You don't want to be the third wheel.
Jacob: No.
Janine: No, don't worry. I actually know a great guy I want to set you up with.
Jacob: Uh, thanks, but I don't know how my boyfriend would feel about that.
Janine: Your what?
Jacob: My boyfriend.
Janine: You have a boyfriend? What's his name?
Jacob: Uh, Zach.
Janine: Zach? And how long have you two been dating?
Jacob: Like a year, plus another year.

Jacob: I thought you knew. I mean, I could've swore I told you. My friends say I won't shut up about him.
Janine: Your friends? I thought we were friends.
Jacob: We are. Yeah, we're friends. We're just, you know...
Janine: "You know" what?
Jacob: W-Work friends. We don't talk about real deep stuff.
Janine: You told me when you got a tapeworm in Zimbabwe.
Jacob: Um, um, yeah, I was- I was trying to be helpful, in case you ever go to Africa. Look, work friends are still friends. They're just, like, friends in one place.
Janine: Well, I thought we were friends in all places.
Jacob: We are- We are friends in other places, actually. You know, we... Just today we were... we were friends together, you know, from my apartment to the school... [school bell rings] ... where... where we work, as friends. [runs off]

Barbara: Is everything okay? I-I didn't see your class at morning recess.
Gregory: Yeah, yeah, no, everything's fine. Kids, turn to page 13 minus 6. Seven. So, the whole class is underperforming, specifically in math, so we're taking time in recess to practice to get those scores up.
Barbara: Well, you know it's always been my thought that if one child fails...
Gregory: Mm-hmm.
Barbara: ...it's on the child.
Gregory: Right.
Barbara: But... But if all of the children fail, it's on their teacher.
Gregory: If there's something I'm doing wrong or if it can be improved upon, I am more than happy, uh, to take some pointers.
Barbara: Wonderful. Lunchtime. You and me.
Gregory: Yes. Sure. I am more than happy to give up some of my free time to gain knowledge and better myself. [Barbara chuckles and exits] I still didn't get my answer. 13 minus 6? [students groan] That "uh" better be you thinking.