‘Story Samurai’
Season 2, Episode 3 - Aired October 5, 2022
Janine tries to stop Jacob from embarrassing himself in front of the whole school when his old storytelling troupe pay a visit to Abbott Elementary. Meanwhile, Melissa struggles to teach a combined second and third-grade class.
Quote from Melissa
Melissa: [aside to camera] Um, you know, it's a little tough. But you know what? Barbara's right. I'm tougher. I'm so tough, brass knuckles wear me to a fight.
Students: [o.s.] Ooh!
Melissa: Oh. Excuse me. What? What?! Keyon! Quit huffing the Wite-Out, dude!
Quote from Ava
Ava: Y'all see that corny show? [laughs] I was in the back crying while bootlegging it for barbershop distribution.
Quote from Ava
Ava: Janine, let me borrow your phone so I can go live on IG and TikTok at the same time.
Janine: Uh...
Ava: It's our duty to spread this joy to the world, y'all. It's tough times out here. People need the laughs. The people need the laughs.
Quote from Jacob
Jacob: Hey. I got your Slack. By the way, thanks for being the first one to use the Slack channel I set up two months ago. [Janine chuckles]
Quote from Jacob
Jacob: Alright, well, Slack me if you got anything else, okay? You know, you can customize the emojis.
Janine: Mm-hmm.
Quote from Gregory
Janine: Hey! What's up?
Gregory: Just saying hi.
Janine: Oh. That's nice. Hi. How's your day?
Gregory: Surprisingly smooth. I got through 90% of animal habitats, even though it's been a bigger bathroom day than usual.
Janine: Mm.
Gregory: For... For the kids, not for me.
Quote from Gregory
Janine: Jacob just puts so much thought into how he's perceived. And it doesn't hurt anyone, so I figured, why burst his bubble?
Gregory: For one, it could stop him from inviting us to his Living Single rewatch parties. [Janine laughs] It's like, dude, you're in a relationship. I don't... I don't get it.
Janine: But he does get some good guest speakers. He got the guy who played Kyle...
Quote from Jacob
Jacob: Hey, what's, uh... What's going on?
Janine: Um, I'm not sure... I don't think you should perform.
Jacob: Look. I get it. You think I'm rusty. But don't worry. It's... It's muscle memory. You know? It's like when I ride a unicycle...
Quote from Jacob
Janine: Jacob, you are... corny sometimes... yes.
Jacob: Wha... [chuckles] Wait. Uh... No. I have Kendrick Lamar on vinyl. Okay? Is that corny? Look, and the Samurai are not corny, okay? They performed at a Bernie Sanders rally. Without his permission.