Barbara: I don't think so.
Melissa: Oh, come on! It's an easy squeeze. She's been skimming cash off the top for years.
Barbara: It's not that I can't handle it. It's just that... I'm not used to playing in the mud. I leave that to people like you.
[aside to camera:]
Melissa: People like me, huh?

Ava: [on video 1] Success.
Ava: Greatness.
Ava: [on video 2] Passion.
Ava: And what do all those words have in common?
Electronic Voice: Ava Coleman.
Ava: So, in conclusion, a school with such an amazing leader is an obvious choice for discretionary funds. And what school is that?
[Ava unveils a model of Abbott Elementary]
Ava: [on video 1] A.
Ava: B.
Ava: [on video 1] B.
Janine: Okay.
Ava: [on video 2] O.
Janine: That's enough.
Ava: [on video 1] T.
Ava: [on video 2] L.
Ava: Janine, you're throwing off my timing.
Ava: [on video 1] E.
Janine: Enough.
Ava: [on video 1] M...M...M...M...M...M...
Janine: What?
Ava: You couldn't let me finish?
Janine: No... [Ava crashes one of the virtual presence devices into Janine] Ow!

Janine: I know how you feel about Ava and the whole principal situation, but this is for the kids.
Gregory: It feels like it's for Ava.
Janine: Yeah. But it'd be for all of us, too. I mean, say they fire Ava. Then what? They bring in some micromanaging control freak who won't let us do our jobs?
Gregory: Yeah, we wouldn't want that.
Janine: Look, I know she may not be our best option, but she certainly isn't the worst.
Gregory: Fine. But if she refers to me as a food item, I'm out.
Janine: Great. Meet me in the library at lunch.

Melissa: Repo's here.
Barbara: Hey, Melissa. You need something?
Melissa: Yeah, I'm just here to repo this rug since you got it from a mud person.
Barbara: Wait. Is this because I won't extort a church member? You are overreacting.
Melissa: No, I'm just trying to protect you. I wouldn't want you involved in any of my immoral activities.
Barbara: You need some help?
Melissa: Nah, I got it.

Superintendent Collins: Gregory Eddie, right?
Gregory: Yeah.
Superintendent Collins: It's good to see you again. You know, I'm sorry I couldn't hire you as principal, but... my hands were tied.
Gregory: To the bed?
Superintendent Collins: Pardon?
Gregory: Nothing.
Superintendent Collins: Look, if you're still interested in being principal, I think maybe some positions might be opening up, even at Abbott. So... if you're interested... e-mail me.

Gregory: [to Ava] And remember, you don't wanna show too much improvement because then they think we won't need the money, but then, also, you don't want to show that we haven't gotten any better because then they think we're not capable of improvement.
Jacob: Wow. And this is the job you really want? Sounds gross.
Gregory: Yeah.

Barbara: Mrs. Sloss. I'm a teacher at Abbott Elementary. I believe we go to the same church.
Mrs. Sloss: Oh, how lovely. I think I've seen you around.
Barbara: Of course you've seen Deacon Wiley's new hairstyle. Oh, he's got it dyed, fried, and laid to the side.
Mrs. Sloss: [faint chuckle] Yes, it's funny when people look bad.
Barbara: Um, uh... Sister Sloss, God is good, is he not?
Mrs. Sloss: He is.
Barbara: And he knows in our hearts whether we are good people or not.
Mrs. Sloss: I imagine he does. You have a good day now.
Barbara: Well, while I have your attention, you are on the Church Finance Committee, aren't you?

Janine: When I'm overwhelmed, I get on my phone, too. I like to read the news. You know, seeing something way worse than what's happening to me really puts things in perspective.
Gregory: Yeah, I was just sending an e-mail, but... I can do that later.
Janine: By the way, thank you so much for helping. I know it isn't easy to coach someone who has the job you should've gotten.
Gregory: Yeah, well, it's a lot easier to say yes to things when you're the one asking.
Janine: Oh. Well, in that case, can I get a burger and a Nintendo Switch? [both laugh]
Gregory: [sighs] How do you think it's going in there?
Janine: Oh, I think it's probably going well. [off Gregory's look] I think it's going w... I think it's probably going well.

Janine: Well?
Ava: Okay, sis! I did that!
Janine: And that's on what?
Ava: Period! [laughter]
Barbara: Okay. What's happening?
Janine: I mean, [clears throat] good job, Ava.
Ava: Thank you, subordinate.

Superintendent Collins: Look, if it wasn't your school suffering, it'd just be another. Don't be mad at me, be mad at the system.
[aside to camera:]
Gregory: I am mad. I'm really mad.